Übersetzer / Translators: Wolf Heinrich Graf Baudissin
(englisch)
Contents
PERSONS REPRESENTED
ACT I
SCENE I
SCENE II
SCENE III
SCENE IV
ACT II
SCENE I
SCENE II
SCENE III
ACT III
SCENE I
SCENE II
SCENE III
SCENE IV
SCENE V
ACT IV
SCENE I
SCENE II
SCENE III
SCENE IV
SCENE V
SCENE VI
ACT V
SCENE I
SCENE II
SCENE III
SCENE IV
SCENE V
SIR JOHN FALSTAFF
FENTON, a young gentleman
SHALLOW, a country justice
SLENDER, cousin to Shallow
FORD, a Gentleman dwelling at Windsor
PAGE, a Gentleman dwelling at Windsor
WILLIAM PAGE, a boy, son to Page
SIR HUGH EVANS, a Welsh parson
DOCTOR CAIUS, a French physician
HOST of the Garter Inn
BARDOLPH, PISTOL, NYM; Followers of Falstaff
ROBIN, page to Falstaff
SIMPLE, servant to Slender
RUGBY, servant to Doctor Caius
MISTRESS FORD
MISTRESS PAGE
MISTRESS ANNE PAGE, her daughter, in love with Fenton
MISTRESS QUICKLY, servant to Doctor Caius
SERVANTS to Page, Ford, &c.
SCENE: Windsor and the neighbourhood
Windsor. Before Page’s house
[Enter JUSTICE SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS.]
SHALLOW
Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star Chamber matter of it; if he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.
SLENDER
In the county of Gloucester, Justice of Peace, and “coram.”
SHALLOW
Ay, cousin Slender, and “cust-alorum.”
SLENDER
Ay, and “rato-lorum” too; and a gentleman born, Master Parson, who writes himself “armigero” in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation — “armigero.”
SHALLOW
Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three hundred years.
SLENDER
All his successors, gone before him, hath done’t; and all his ancestors, that come after him, may: they may give the dozen white luces in their coat.
SHALLOW
It is an old coat.
EVANS
The dozen white louses do become an old coat well; it agrees well, passant; it is a familiar beast to man, and signifies love.
SHALLOW
The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old coat.
SLENDER
I may quarter, coz?
SHALLOW
You may, by marrying.
EVANS
It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.
SHALLOW
Not a whit.
EVANS
Yes, py’r lady! If he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures; but that is all one. If Sir John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my benevolence to make atonements and compremises between you.
SHALLOW
The Council shall hear it; it is a riot.
EVANS
It is not meet the Council hear a riot; there is no fear of Got in a riot; the Council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take your vizaments in that.
SHALLOW
Ha! o’ my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it.
EVANS
It is petter that friends is the sword and end it; and there is also another device in my prain, which peradventure prings goot discretions with it. There is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master George Page, which is pretty virginity.
SLENDER
Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks small like a woman.
EVANS
It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire upon his death’s-bed — Got deliver to a joyful resurrections! — give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years old. It were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.
SHALLOW
Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?
EVANS
Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.
SHALLOW
I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts.
EVANS
Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, is goot gifts.
SHALLOW
Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?
EVANS
Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do despise one that is false; or as I despise one that is not true. The knight Sir John is there; and, I beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will peat the door for Master Page.
[Knocks.]
What, hoa! Got pless your house here!
PAGE
[Within] Who’s there?
EVANS
Here is Got’s plessing, and your friend, and Justice Shallow; and here young Master Slender, that peradventures shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your likings.
[Enter PAGE.]
PAGE
I am glad to see your worships well. I thank you for my venison, Master Shallow.
SHALLOW
Master Page, I am glad to see you; much good do it your good heart! I wished your venison better; it was ill killed. How doth good Mistress Page? — and I thank you always with my heart, la! with my heart.
PAGE
Sir, I thank you.
SHALLOW
Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do.
PAGE
I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.
SLENDER
How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say he was outrun on Cotsall.
PAGE
It could not be judged, sir.
SLENDER
You’ll not confess, you’ll not confess.
SHALLOW
That he will not: ‘tis your fault; ‘tis your fault. ‘Tis a good dog.
PAGE
A cur, sir.
SHALLOW
Sir, he’s a good dog, and a fair dog; can there be more said? he is good, and fair. Is Sir John Falstaff here?
PAGE
Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you.
EVANS
It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.
SHALLOW
He hath wronged me, Master Page.
PAGE
Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.
SHALLOW
If it be confessed, it is not redressed: is not that so, Master Page? He hath wronged me; indeed he hath; — at a word, he hath, — believe me; Robert Shallow, esquire, saith he is wronged.
PAGE
Here comes Sir John.
[Enter SIR JOHN FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NYM, and PISTOL.]
FALSTAFF
Now, Master Shallow, you’ll complain of me to the King?
SHALLOW
Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and broke open my lodge.
FALSTAFF
But not kiss’d your keeper’s daughter?
SHALLOW
Tut, a pin! this shall be answered.
FALSTAFF
I will answer it straight: I have done all this. That is now answered.
SHALLOW
The Council shall know this.
FALSTAFF
‘Twere better for you if it were known in counsel: you’ll be laughed at.
EVANS
Pauca verba, Sir John; goot worts.
FALSTAFF
Good worts! good cabbage! Slender, I broke your head; what matter have you against me?
SLENDER
Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you; and against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. They carried me to the tavern, and made me drunk, and afterwards picked my pocket.
BARDOLPH
You Banbury cheese!
SLENDER
Ay, it is no matter.
PISTOL
How now, Mephostophilus!
SLENDER
Ay, it is no matter.
NYM
Slice, I say! pauca, pauca; slice! That’s my humour.
SLENDER
Where’s Simple, my man? Can you tell, cousin?
EVANS
Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand. There is three umpires in this matter, as I understand: that is — Master Page, fidelicet Master Page; and there is myself, fidelicet myself; and the three party is, lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter.
PAGE
We three to hear it and end it between them.
EVANS
Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note-book; and we will afterwards ork upon the cause with as great discreetly as we can.
FALSTAFF
Pistol!
PISTOL
He hears with ears.
EVANS
The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, “He hears with ear”? Why, it is affectations.
FALSTAFF
Pistol, did you pick Master Slender’s purse?
SLENDER
Ay, by these gloves, did he — or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again else! — of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward shovel-boards that cost me two shilling and two pence a-piece of Yead Miller, by these gloves.
FALSTAFF
Is this true, Pistol?
EVANS
No, it is false, if it is a pick-purse.
PISTOL
Ha, thou mountain-foreigner! — Sir John and master mine,
I combat challenge of this latten bilbo.
Word of denial in thy labras here!
Word of denial! Froth and scum, thou liest.
SLENDER
By these gloves, then, ‘twas he.
NYM
Be avised, sir, and pass good humours; I will say “marry trap” with you, if you run the nuthook’s humour on me; that is the very note of it.
SLENDER
By this hat, then, he in the red face had it; for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass.
FALSTAFF
What say you, Scarlet and John?
BARDOLPH
Why, sir, for my part, I say the gentleman had drunk himself out of his five sentences.
EVANS
It is his “five senses”; fie, what the ignorance is!
BARDOLPH
And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashier’d; and so conclusions passed the careires.
SLENDER
Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but ‘tis no matter; I’ll ne’er be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick; if I be drunk, I’ll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves.
EVANS
So Got udge me, that is a virtuous mind.
FALSTAFF
You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it.
[Enter ANNE PAGE with wine; MISTRESS FORD and MISTRESS PAGE, following.]
PAGE
Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we’ll drink within.
[Exit ANNE PAGE.]
SLENDER
O heaven! this is Mistress Anne Page.
PAGE
How now, Mistress Ford!
FALSTAFF
Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met; by your leave, good mistress. [Kissing her]
PAGE
Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome. Come, we have a hot venison pasty to dinner; come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.
[Exeunt all but SHALLOW, SLENDER, and EVANS.]
SLENDER
I had rather than forty shillings I had my Book of Songs and Sonnets here.
[Enter SIMPLE.]
How, Simple! Where have you been? I must wait on myself, must I? You have not the Book of Riddles about you, have you?
SIMPLE
Book of Riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake upon Allhallowmas last, a fortnight afore Michaelmas?
SHALLOW
Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with you, coz; marry, this, coz: there is, as ‘twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh here: do you understand me?
SLENDER
Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so, I shall do that that is reason.
SHALLOW
Nay, but understand me.
SLENDER
So I do, sir.
EVANS
Give ear to his motions, Master Slender: I will description the matter to you, if you pe capacity of it.
SLENDER
Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says; I pray you pardon me; he’s a justice of peace in his country, simple though I stand here.
EVANS
But that is not the question; the question is concerning your marriage.
SHALLOW
Ay, there’s the point, sir.
EVANS
Marry is it; the very point of it; to Mistress Anne Page.
SLENDER
Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any reasonable demands.
EVANS
But can you affection the ‘oman? Let us command to know that of your mouth or of your lips; for divers philosophers hold that the lips is parcel of the mouth: therefore, precisely, can you carry your good will to the maid?
SHALLOW
Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her?
SLENDER
I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become one that would do reason.
EVANS
Nay, Got’s lords and his ladies! you must speak possitable, if you can carry her your desires towards her.
SHALLOW
That you must. Will you, upon good dowry, marry her?
SLENDER
I will do a greater thing than that upon your request, cousin, in any reason.
SHALLOW
Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz; what I do is to pleasure you, coz. Can you love the maid?
SLENDER
I will marry her, sir, at your request; but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are married and have more occasion to know one another; I hope upon familiarity will grow more contempt. But if you say “Marry her,” I will marry her; that I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely.
EVANS
It is a fery discretion answer; save, the fall is in the ort “dissolutely:” the ort is, according to our meaning, “resolutely.” His meaning is good.
SHALLOW
Ay, I think my cousin meant well.
SLENDER
Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la!
SHALLOW
Here comes fair Mistress Anne.
[Re-enter ANNE PAGE.]
Would I were young for your sake, Mistress Anne!
ANNE
The dinner is on the table; my father desires your worships’ company.
SHALLOW
I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne!
EVANS
Od’s plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace.
[Exeunt SHALLOW and EVANS.]
ANNE
Will’t please your worship to come in, sir?
SLENDER
No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well.
ANNE
The dinner attends you, sir.
SLENDER
I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth. Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go wait upon my cousin Shallow.
[Exit SIMPLE.]
A justice of peace sometime may be beholding to his friend for a man. I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead. But what though? Yet I live like a poor gentleman born.
ANNE
I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit till you come.
SLENDER
I’ faith, I’ll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did.
ANNE
I pray you, sir, walk in.
SLENDER
I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised my shin th’ other day with playing at sword and dagger with a master of fence; three veneys for a dish of stewed prunes — and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your dogs bark so? Be there bears i’ the town?
ANNE
I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of.
SLENDER
I love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at it as any man in England. You are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not?
ANNE
Ay, indeed, sir.
SLENDER
That’s meat and drink to me now. I have seen Sackerson loose twenty times, and have taken him by the chain; but I warrant you, the women have so cried and shrieked at it that it passed; but women, indeed, cannot abide ‘em; they are very ill-favoured rough things.
[Re-enter PAGE.]
PAGE
Come, gentle Master Slender, come; we stay for you.
SLENDER
I’ll eat nothing, I thank you, sir.
PAGE
By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! come, come.
SLENDER
Nay, pray you lead the way.
PAGE
Come on, sir.
SLENDER
Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first.
ANNE
Not I, sir; pray you keep on.
SLENDER
Truly, I will not go first; truly, la! I will not do you that wrong.
ANNE
I pray you, sir.
SLENDER
I’ll rather be unmannerly than troublesome. You do yourself wrong indeed, la!
[Exeunt.]
The same
[Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE.]
EVANS
Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius’ house which is the way; and there dwells one Mistress Quickly, which is in the manner of his nurse, or his dry nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, his washer, and his wringer.
SIMPLE
Well, sir.
EVANS
Nay, it is petter yet. Give her this letter; for it is a ‘oman that altogether’s acquaintance with Mistress Anne Page; and the letter is to desire and require her to solicit your master’s desires to Mistress Anne Page. I pray you be gone: I will make an end of my dinner; there’s pippins and cheese to come.
[Exeunt.]
A room in the Garter Inn
[Enter FALSTAFF, HOST, BARDOLPH, NYM, PISTOL, and ROBIN.]
FALSTAFF
Mine host of the Garter!
HOST
What says my bully rook? Speak scholarly and wisely.
FALSTAFF
Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers.
HOST
Discard, bully Hercules; cashier; let them wag; trot, trot.
FALSTAFF
I sit at ten pounds a week.
HOST
Thou’rt an emperor, Caesar, Keiser, and Pheazar. I will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap; said I well, bully Hector?
FALSTAFF
Do so, good mine host.
HOST
I have spoke; let him follow. [To BARDOLPH] Let me see thee froth and lime. I am at a word; follow.
[Exit HOST.]
FALSTAFF
Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good trade; an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered servingman a fresh tapster. Go; adieu.
BARDOLPH
It is a life that I have desired; I will thrive.
PISTOL
O base Hungarian wight! Wilt thou the spigot wield?
[Exit BARDOLPH.]
NYM
He was gotten in drink. Is not the humour conceited?
FALSTAFF
I am glad I am so acquit of this tinder-box: his thefts were too open; his filching was like an unskilful singer — he kept not time.
NYM
The good humour is to steal at a minim’s rest.
PISTOL
“Convey” the wise it call. “Steal!” foh! A fico for the phrase!
FALSTAFF
Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.
PISTOL
Why, then, let kibes ensue.
FALSTAFF
There is no remedy; I must cony-catch; I must shift.
PISTOL
Young ravens must have food.
FALSTAFF
Which of you know Ford of this town?
PISTOL
I ken the wight; he is of substance good.
FALSTAFF
My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about.
PISTOL
Two yards, and more.
FALSTAFF
No quips now, Pistol. Indeed, I am in the waist two yards about; but I am now about no waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford’s wife; I spy entertainment in her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation; I can construe the action of her familiar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be Englished rightly, is “I am Sir John Falstaff’s.”
PISTOL
He hath studied her will, and translated her will out of honesty into English.
NYM
The anchor is deep; will that humour pass?
FALSTAFF
Now, the report goes she has all the rule of her husband’s purse; he hath a legion of angels.
PISTOL
As many devils entertain; and “To her, boy,” say I.
NYM
The humour rises; it is good; humour me the angels.
FALSTAFF
I have writ me here a letter to her; and here another to Page’s wife, who even now gave me good eyes too, examined my parts with most judicious oeillades; sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly.
PISTOL
Then did the sun on dunghill shine.
NYM
I thank thee for that humour.
FALSTAFF
O! she did so course o’er my exteriors with such a greedy intention that the appetite of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass. Here’s another letter to her: she bears the purse too; she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be cheator to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thou this letter to Mistress Page; and thou this to Mistress Ford. We will thrive, lads, we will thrive.
PISTOL
Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,
And by my side wear steel? then Lucifer take all!
NYM
I will run no base humour. Here, take the humour-letter; I will keep the haviour of reputation.
FALSTAFF
[To ROBIN] Hold, sirrah; bear you these letters tightly;
Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.
Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hailstones, go;
Trudge, plod away o’ hoof; seek shelter, pack!
Falstaff will learn the humour of this age;
French thrift, you rogues; myself, and skirted page.
[Exeunt FALSTAFF and ROBIN.]
PISTOL
Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd and fullam holds,
And high and low beguile the rich and poor;
Tester I’ll have in pouch when thou shalt lack,
Base Phrygian Turk!
NYM
I have operations in my head which be humours of revenge.
PISTOL
Wilt thou revenge?
NYM
By welkin and her star!
PISTOL
With wit or steel?
NYM
With both the humours, I:
I will discuss the humour of this love to Page.
PISTOL
And I to Ford shall eke unfold
How Falstaff, varlet vile,
His dove will prove, his gold will hold,
And his soft couch defile.
NYM
My humour shall not cool: I will incense Page to deal with poison; I will possess him with yellowness, for the revolt of mine is dangerous: that is my true humour.
PISTOL
Thou art the Mars of malcontents; I second thee; troop on.
[Exeunt.]
A room in Doctor Caius’s house
[Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY, and SIMPLE.]
QUICKLY
What, John Rugby!
[Enter RUGBY.]
I pray thee go to the casement, and see if you can see my master, Master Doctor Caius, coming: if he do, i’ faith, and find anybody in the house, here will be an old abusing of God’s patience and the King’s English.
RUGBY
I’ll go watch.
QUICKLY
Go; and we’ll have a posset for’t soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a seacoal fire.
[Exit RUGBY.]
An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale nor no breed-bate; his worst fault is that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish that way; but nobody but has his fault; but let that pass. Peter Simple you say your name is?
SIMPLE
Ay, for fault of a better.
QUICKLY
And Master Slender’s your master?
SIMPLE
Ay, forsooth.
QUICKLY
Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover’s paring-knife?
SIMPLE
No, forsooth; he hath but a little whey face, with a little yellow beard — a cane-coloured beard.
QUICKLY
A softly-sprighted man, is he not?
SIMPLE
Ay, forsooth; but he is as tall a man of his hands as any is between this and his head; he hath fought with a warrener.
QUICKLY
How say you? — O! I should remember him. Does he not hold up his head, as it were, and strut in his gait?
SIMPLE
Yes, indeed, does he.
QUICKLY
Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell Master Parson Evans I will do what I can for your master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish —
[Re-enter RUGBY.]
RUGBY
Out, alas! here comes my master.
QUICKLY
We shall all be shent. Run in here, good young man; go into this closet.
[Shuts SIMPLE in the closet.]
He will not stay long. What, John Rugby! John! what, John, I say! Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt he be not well that he comes not home.
[Exit Rugby.]
[Sings.] And down, down, adown-a, &c.
[Enter DOCTOR CAIUS.]
CAIUS
Vat is you sing? I do not like des toys. Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet une boitine verde — a box, a green-a box: do intend vat I speak? a green-a box.
QUICKLY
Ay, forsooth, I’ll fetch it you.
[Aside] I am glad he went not in himself: if he had found the young man, he would have been horn-mad.
CAIUS
Fe, fe, fe fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m’en vais a la cour — la grande affaire.
QUICKLY
Is it this, sir?
CAIUS
Oui; mettez le au mon pocket: depechez, quickly — Vere is dat knave, Rugby?
QUICKLY
What, John Rugby? John!
[Re-enter Rugby.]
RUGBY
Here, sir.
CAIUS
You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby: come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to de court.
RUGBY
‘Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.
CAIUS
By my trot, I tarry too long — Od’s me! Qu’ay j’oublie? Dere is some simples in my closet dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind.
QUICKLY
[Aside] Ay me, he’ll find the young man there, and be mad!
CAIUS
O diable, diable! vat is in my closet? — Villainy! larron!
[Pulling SIMPLE out]
Rugby, my rapier!
QUICKLY
Good master, be content.
CAIUS
Verefore shall I be contenta?
QUICKLY
The young man is an honest man.
CAIUS
What shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is no honest man dat shall come in my closet.
QUICKLY
I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear the truth of it: he came of an errand to me from Parson Hugh.
CAIUS
Vell.
SIMPLE
Ay, forsooth, to desire her to —
QUICKLY
Peace, I pray you.
CAIUS
Peace-a your tongue! — Speak-a your tale.
SIMPLE
To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page for my master, in the way of marriage.
QUICKLY
This is all, indeed, la! but I’ll ne’er put my finger in the fire, and need not.
CAIUS
Sir Hugh send-a you? — Rugby, baillez me some paper: tarry you a little-a while. [Writes.]
QUICKLY
I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been throughly moved, you should have heard him so loud and so melancholy. But notwithstanding, man, I’ll do you your master what good I can; and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master — I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself —
SIMPLE
‘Tis a great charge to come under one body’s hand.
QUICKLY
Are you avis’d o’ that? You shall find it a great charge; and to be up early and down late; but notwithstanding, — to tell you in your ear, — I would have no words of it — my master himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page; but notwithstanding that, I know Anne’s mind, that’s neither here nor there.
CAIUS
You jack’nape; give-a dis letter to Sir Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat in de Park; and I will teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make. You may be gone; it is not good you tarry here: by gar, I will cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to throw at his dog.
[Exit SIMPLE.]
QUICKLY
Alas, he speaks but for his friend.
CAIUS
It is no matter-a ver dat: — do not you tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? By gar, I vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine host of de Jartiere to measure our weapon. By gar, I vill myself have Anne Page.
QUICKLY
Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We must give folks leave to prate: what, the good-jer!
CAIUS
Rugby, come to the court vit me. By gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door. Follow my heels, Rugby.
[Exeunt CAIUS and RUGBY.]
QUICKLY
You shall have An fool’s-head of your own. No, I know Anne’s mind for that: never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne’s mind than I do; nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven.
FENTON
[Within]
Who’s within there? ho!
QUICKLY
Who’s there, I trow? Come near the house, I pray you.
[Enter FENTON.]
FENTON
How now, good woman! how dost thou?
QUICKLY
The better, that it pleases your good worship to ask.
FENTON
What news? how does pretty Mistress Anne?
QUICKLY
In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it.
FENTON
Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? Shall I not lose my suit?
QUICKLY
Troth, sir, all is in His hands above; but notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I’ll be sworn on a book she loves you. Have not your worship a wart above your eye?
FENTON
Yes, marry, have I; what of that?
QUICKLY
Well, thereby hangs a tale; good faith, it is such another Nan; but, I detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread. We had an hour’s talk of that wart; I shall never laugh but in that maid’s company; — but, indeed, she is given too much to allicholy and musing. But for you — well, go to.
FENTON
Well, I shall see her to-day. Hold, there’s money for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf: if thou seest her before me, commend me.
QUICKLY
Will I? i’ faith, that we will; and I will tell your worship more of the wart the next time we have confidence; and of other wooers.
FENTON
Well, farewell; I am in great haste now.
QUICKLY
Farewell to your worship. —
[Exit FENTON.]
Truly, an honest gentleman; but Anne loves him not; for I know Anne’s mind as well as another does. Out upon ‘t, what have I forgot?
[Exit.]
Before Page’s house
[Enter MISTRESS PAGE, with a letter.]
MRS. PAGE
What! have I scaped love-letters in the holiday-time of my beauty, and am I now a subject for them? Let me see.
“Ask me no reason why I love you; for though Love use Reason for his precisian, he admits him not for his counsellor. You are not young, no more am I; go to, then, there’s sympathy: you are merry, so am I; ha! ha! then there’s more sympathy; you love sack, and so do I; would you desire better sympathy? Let it suffice thee, Mistress Page, at the least, if the love of soldier can suffice, that I love thee. I will not say, pity me: ‘tis not a soldierlike phrase; but I say, Love me. By me,
Thine own true knight,
By day or night,
Or any kind of light,
With all his might,
For thee to fight,
JOHN FALSTAFF.”