I AM INCREASINGLY freaked by heights.
Which has a lot to do with the fact that last year I skidded, scraped, and plummeted down a near-perpendicular drop of thirty metres, and lived. I was never predisposed to heights, but now they do very weird things to my head. And my intestines. I steer clear of ledges.
Of which there is no shortage in Newfoundland.
Nicholas, my freshly teenaged son, seems not to have inherited that gene. Following in the footsteps of his mother, so to speak. Samantha, when she was also my wife, was forever one to lead me to precipitous circumstances.
I digress.
Which brings me to the reason I now find myself, this Thanksgiving weekend, climbing Gros Morne, the second highest peak in Newfoundland. To be precise it is not really a peak. More of a pink, bald-headed noggin that rises within the confines of Gros Morne National Park, spectacular though it is in its own way.
Nicholas is impressed. Thirteen-year-olds, I know full well, are not easily impressed. It’s their hormonal predisposition to be underwhelmed. Having once been a teacher, I know of what I speak. Grade Eight (from which Nick recently emerged, generally unscathed as far as I can tell, though the jury is still out) is universally thought of among teachers as “the lost year.” Puberty has kicked in and unsuspecting trainees turn hopelessly oddball. A few months into Grade Nine and said adolescents are usually set to rejoin the human race.
‘This is fun,’ says Nicholas, as we ascend a kilometre of scree consisting of hefty fragments of blasted quartzite left by receding glaciers. “Fun” is such an all-encompassing descriptor. I prefer “interesting,” or, more precisely, “strenuously interesting.”
The fifty-ish father cannot, however, let on that he might not be totally up for the task at hand. ‘Sure is,’ I manage, between somewhat laboured breaths. Fortunately the son, the veritable billy goat, is several steps ahead and not party to my panting.
We have already hiked four kilometres through forest and flies to get to the base of the peak. The rock-strewn ascent does have enough wind to keep the flies at bay, which is no mean boost to my overall well-being. Life will be grand, I am supremely confident, once we get to the top.
It’s pushing an hour and a half. Just when you think you will go no higher, a new expanse of damned blasted quartzite reveals itself. On top of that, the wind goes from fly-inhibiting to stiff and chilled. The temperature has dropped, rain threatens, and devilishly thick accumulations of low clouds (i.e., fog) look about to join us for the last few metres to the top.
We are finally at the proof of our climb, the substantial sign that reads Gros Morne Summit 806 m/Sommet Gros-Morne 806 m. The fact that it is the same elevation in both English and French is nothing if not a stimulant for the tired mind.
‘A little closer, if you would,’ I say to the overly fit senior who has offered to take a picture of the mountain-conquering duo with my iPhone. At that distance the sign should be readable through fog.
Followed by the inevitable smiling selfie. Followed by, ‘Okay, now let’s eat.’
It’s amazing what a teenage male can pack away on a couch watching TV, let alone after climbing 806 m. Up to this point I have fended off all calls for sustenance except for water and trail mix. But as Nick likes to elucidate, ‘This dude is in the mood for food.’
Fortunately our combined backpacks approach the size of a small refrigerator, and Nick can feast on a range of consumables—sausages, sandwiches, hard-boiled eggs, fruit, cheese sticks, crackers and hummus, beef jerky, celery wisely filled with peanut butter, muffins, cookies, Gatorade.
Life is indeed grand, and even more so when something amazing, if not altogether surprising, happens. (We’re talking Newfoundland weather after all, as changeable as a dog’s stomach.) The fog lifts, the sun struggles to show itself, and, in the end, does. A stunning vista unfolds. One of the iconic views of Gros Morne National Park.
I’m fired up to be sharing it with my son. We sit and absorb the amazing panorama of Ten Mile Pond. A long stretch of sun-glinting, fjord-like blue water at a mountain base of forest green, ascending to bald cliffs.
‘We’re talking the Long Range Mountains, the northeastern end of the Appalachians. Those cliffs you see before you—granitic gneiss.’
‘Nice.’
‘Yep, the ‘g’ is silent—gneiss.’
‘No, I mean, nice. Nice, man, way to go. You read the guidebook. Nice.’
At least two minutes pass before he gives into the paralyzing urge to find out if there is cell phone reception.
‘Tyler, man, guess where I am?’ Pause. ‘Keep it clean.’
I can only imagine.
‘No, man, on top of Gros Morne.’ Pause. Laughter. ‘The mountain, man.’
What else?
‘Yes, really. With my dad. I know. Nice.’
Nice is good.
‘You wish. Okay, gotta go.’ Pause. ‘I will.’
It’s all downhill from here, literally. In fact the descent down the back of the mountain and around the base to the starting point is positively endless. It runs us four hours at least. But when we do finally reach the parking lot, the food supply completely depleted (including, finally, the celery sticks), Nick is still in a decent mood. Hungry, but not whining. Which I take as a sign that he is no longer a kid. Manhood in the offing.
‘Yes, we did it!’ High fives.
‘Whomped it good!’ High fives again. ‘This dude….’
I know. ‘Is in the mood…’
‘For food.’
Which means I have to make good on my promise, made halfway down the mountain, to forego our own kitchen skills in favour of the Old Loft Restaurant in Woody Point.
It’s a costly trait that I’ve encouraged in Nick—to get past fried chicken, tacos, and pizza, to take some risks in what he puts in his gut. When he stays over at my house we make a regular habit of cooking together, kitchen buds working up a recipe from a cookbook, or snagging one off the Internet. Culinary bonding.
Last Christmas I gave him a cookbook. Really. Well, there was more stuff, but I thought give my kid a cookbook and I’m making a statement. So he shows up the following week with the book in his sports bag and a square of toilet paper as a bookmark for the recipe he’d like to try.
I’m fired up, and instead of me going out New Year’s Eve to some party where at midnight I kiss women who play on my imagination, Nick and I cook up something called “Double Whammy Toad in the Hole.” (Jamie Oliver—I like his cookbooks, not too keen on his kitchen knives.) My take is that Nick chose it because it sounds and looks slightly vulgar, and among the ingredients is a can of beer.
But, hey, he’s fired up too, and actually “Double Whammy Toad in the Hole” is pretty decent. We scoffed the lot while watching the mega, multi-coloured crystal ball drop in Times Square.
Ravenous Gaffer gets off on it as well. The dog always was a sucker for sausages. He also enjoys free-range eggs, and has been known to have the odd lick of beer. Given that he’s renounced kibble since the day Nick and I brought him home from the SPCA, you could say he was in doggie heaven. It will no doubt go down as one of his most memorable New Year’s Eves.
In the Old Loft Restaurant, the mountaineers dig into traditional Newfoundland fare. That would be moose pie and salad for me, and for the young fellow fish cakes, baked beans, and bread baked right on the premises. And a cut each of partridgeberry pie and ice cream. We’re keeners for a good scoff.
‘Gaffer would love this,’ says Nick, in a brief, doleful respite between mouthfuls.
He misses the mutt, as do I. But Gaffer’s doing fine. He’s staying with my friend Jeremy while we’re away.
Nick takes a picture of his plate of food and fires it off to Jeremy, with a note to Gaffer. ‘Wish I could send you a doggie bag.’
He sends the same picture off to his friend Tyler. His phone dings in about ten seconds. ‘Tyler says gross.’ He adds, ‘Tyler can’t see past burgers and fries. Sad, very sad.’
That’s my boy. And for that, young Nick, on our way out of the restaurant we get a loaf of the homemade bread and a jar of bakeapple jam for breakfast in the morning.
We hit the road and find our way to the cabin we have rented for three days. So far it’s been a father-son expedition to remember.
On the agenda for the following day is a hike to Green Gardens, another jewel of the National Park. Green Gardens has two possible routes. For a fall day it’s a hot one (relatively speaking, which in Newfoundland means anything approaching 20˚C), so we opt for the shorter hike, nine kilometres return. I’m still in recovery mode from the trek up Gros Morne. I didn’t sleep well last night. Recurring dreams in which I kept climbing and climbing and never reaching the top.
As the brochure promises, today’s hike takes us across “a barren landscape of frost-cracked orange-brown peridotite boulders.”
‘Easy for you to say.’ He chuckles. ‘Good one, Nicholas.’
Complimenting himself, as teenagers are prone to do. Possibly to stroke his ego, more likely, as we say, for a laugh. Chip off the old block.
We’re having fun. And yes, an hour later and we’re still having fun. Much of the hike is downhill, through boreal forest, which can be a bit scruffy, mostly coniferous—black spruce, balsam fir, and juniper (what mainlanders have christened larch or tamarack). None of it very tall, and a lot of it windblown. With a few birch and alder mixed in, lots of ferns and moss. A promising habitat for wildlife. We’re hoping moose or caribou, but would settle for a fox or a mink. Squirrels and shrews don’t count.
And a red fox it is, and a fine fellow at that. He lingers in view for longer than I expect. Nick is scrambling for his phone to take a picture, but I silently wave him off. He shrugs. We stand motionless together and watch the fox stare back at us for a few seconds before disappearing into the undergrowth.
‘I coulda got a great picture.’
‘But this was better. Just man and fox. Eye to eye.’
‘Whatever.’
‘Life is not meant to be experienced behind a camera lens. You’re putting up a barrier. Hold on to the moment for what it is.’ My little life lesson for the day.
‘Really?’ He’s not convinced. But then, he’s at the age when he is not convinced by much. But neither does he argue. This is good.
We break out of the boreal forest to a cliff-top sweep of fertile green meadow. There’s the odd sheep grazing, likely brought in for the summer from a community nearby. The one closest to us looks up and, unimpressed by the appearance of yet another hiker, tucks his head back in the grass and chews on.
‘He’s not very photogenic anyway,’ says Nick, straining to hold back his grin.
Smartass. I wring a fist playfully at him.
Nick throws off his backpack. Jumps into a martial arts position, as if he had training when all he’s ever done is watch a few movies.
‘C’mon, sucker, let’s see what you’re made of!’ Followed by a few combative grunts.
‘Really?’ A slow, very broad smile. My backpack falls from my shoulders. My hands calmly rise, the fingers flexing in the call to combat.
‘Let’s see what’s behind that gut of yours!’
‘Dangerous, Nicky boy, very dangerous.’
In one swift move he’s flattened in the grass. He is ticklish as hell and I make him pay dearly for the gut comment.
‘Say uncle.’
‘What?’
‘Say uncle.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
He’s never heard it before? ‘It means you give up.’
‘Back in the day, it did. That dates you, old man.’
Another dig in the ribs. He’s still laughing when I let him up, and back to martial arting.
‘So what’s your equivalent of “say uncle”?’
‘You don’t want to know.’
He’s right. I probably don’t.
There’s stairs to the beach. And just out from the beach, a cluster of sea stacks—tall, lumpy, vaguely monstrous. Unlike anything he’s ever seen.
‘And you saw plenty of sea stacks…back in the day,’ says Nick.
‘Okay, dickhead…’
‘You’re calling your own son a dickhead? What kind of father are you?’
‘One who’s about to dive into the water, not like you, dickhead.’
I throw down the backpack and start unlacing my hiking boots.
‘That water is cold as hell. You’re crazy.’
‘And you’re chicken.’
And the race is on. In the end we’re both flailing about in the Atlantic Ocean, which is bloody well frigid. ‘Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey. As we used to say.’
‘Back in the day.’
Nicholas is a good kid. Cheeky at times, but that’s par for the course. I want him growing up with the reassurance that his father will always be there for him, despite everything that has gone on between his mother and me. The marriage crashed, and any effort to hold it together for Nick’s sake would never have yielded anything but warfare. Who wants to put a kid through that? We have shared custody. It’s not perfect, but you make do. Life goes on. We all survive. And in this instance, I freeze my ass off so he gets the point that I would go to the end of the earth to make sure he grows up a happy, well-adjusted kid.
Which is where we find ourselves on our last day in Gros Morne. Hiking the Tablelands is not going to the end of the earth, but having the end of the earth come to us.
It’s one of the few places on planet earth where the mantle has erupted through its crust and come to rest on the surface. One for the books. A bona fide, 500-million-year-old geological stunner. What we have today is a vast, almost plant-less, flat-top, yellow-oxided mountainscape. Looking for all the world like a desert, but, even after summer, still with patches of snow filling its uppermost basins.
‘Weird, eh?’
I expect more of my son. He lives in Newfoundland and he doesn’t get excited by rock? What a waste of a birthplace.
‘You might call it quote/unquote weird. Geologists call it phenomenal.’
‘Listen, Tyler, we’re in this phenomenal place called the Tablelands.’
The damn phone again. Deep breath. Control yourself, Sebastian.
‘Snow. Yes, snow. I can see it. Yes, we’re climbing up there.’
Am I in for a running commentary as we ascend the mountain? I don’t get it. Why is his life permanently on “share”?
‘Nick, pal, put away the phone. Give it a rest.’
He consents, a little grudgingly, but does finally slip it into a pocket. He doesn’t say anything. That, too, is good.
So the primordial technology of the ultra-lightweight, simple-to-store Parks Canada pamphlet tells us the best route to the top of the Tablelands is to start to the left of Wallace Brook where it crosses the footpath leading from the parking lot.
The route is unsigned, undefiled, and relatively untrodden. At least there are no others setting out the same time we do. The hike is largely over peridotite, its surface this time oxidized to a sweep of yellowish tan. A vast geological coup, a sublime triumph of beige.
The mantle rock erupted to the surface when ancient continents collided. Living proof of continental drift. Well, not living, since the only thing living is at the base of the Tablelands, a scattered few low-growing shrubs and plants that somehow survived the near toxic scrapings of soil and sub-arctic winter wind and weather.
‘Tough little buggers,’ I call them. Nick agrees. I am tempted to capture some of the diminutive alpine species that contrast with the rock, but my phone must remain firmly out of sight.
Nick knows what is going through my mind, knows I get off on plants when I have the time. He grins a self-satisfied grin.
Ignored. ‘Holding on to the moment,’ I tell him, and return the grin, substantially wider than his own. Bugger.
It’s about a kilometre to what is referred to as the Lower Bowl, a steady trek over chunky peridotite. Nick is playing the young goat once again, although this time, the incline being more age-friendly, I’m almost a match for him. Almost.
He’s near the rim of the Bowl, waiting for me along the edge of the brook we have been following much of the way. He’s settled in for some grub. No sign of the phone, not to say there hasn’t been a clandestine text before I got there.
It’s sweatshirt weather, the temperature modulated by the increasing altitude and the snow patches. Still, the brook, in the few places where the water has pooled, looks enticing. Maybe on the way down.
For now, something to relieve the shameless appetite. It’s been two hours since breakfast after all. Cashews and the ever manly, protein-packed beef jerky.
Nick grabs the package and begins reading the back of it. I’ve taught him well. ‘You know this stuff is packed with salt, fat, and sodium nitrate. Sounds like a recipe for a heart attack.’
Taught him too well. I have no defense. ‘Sometimes you gotta take one for the team.’
We strike strips of jerky as if they were wine glasses. ‘Chin! Chin!’ I vow to eat some raw broccoli as penance.
The snow in the Bowl is not far off, so we start making tracks. We jump rocks to cross the stream and Nick races for the chance at a snowball fight. The little sucker’s got a better arm than I gave him credit for. It’s more like ice crystals and still damn cold, even though the air temp is mostly comfortable.
As enticing as it is to traverse the snow patch, it’s not such a bright idea. Snow melting beneath could cause a section of it to collapse. Don’t want to end up in an icebox. Instead, we skirt its edge and continue the climb, passing a few people on their way down, and pressing on to where there’s no going any higher.
The view over Bonne Bay is brilliant. It’s one of the most beautiful small bays in Newfoundland. Several communities trail its shoreline and in the distance beyond them is Gros Morne, the mountain, challenged and conquered two days ago.
It does a father and his son good to sit among the peridotite and take in the mighty geological forces at play on this earth of ours. Here we are perched atop a profound seismic event, now a UNESCO World Heritage Site, yet, in the grand scheme—we’re mere specks in time and place. And to think that we’re drifting apart from Eurasia still, at the rate of two and a half centimetres a year!
‘Anything left to eat?’
The endless gut sharpens reality. The view before us apparently a limited distraction.
The salt and preservative-ridden jerky has long disappeared. As have the granola bars. I’m afraid we’re down to the dried fruit and raw veg department. Figs and carrot sticks. Which elicit an audible groan.
I offer up five minutes of phone time as compensation. Manna from heaven. Good God, it’s as if I had unwrapped a Mars bar and presented it to him on a silver platter.
There’s got to be an academic paper in this somewhere. A scientific comparison between cell phone usage and teenage food consumption. Maybe there’s even calorie-loss potential for the obese. The iPhone denial diet. Has a certain ring to it.
The descent is less taxing than the ascent. But navigating the uneven rock and loose gravel, with legs not as quick-witted as they once were, makes for something less than a piece of cake. Better safe than a twisted ankle.
Of course young Bucky is well ahead. Likely he’s been dodging over the rocks and texting at the same time. He cuts back across the stream well ahead of me, and when I reach the spot where we had stopped on the way up, he’s sitting there, his sweatshirt off in anticipation that we’ll make good on our plan to cool off in the shallow pool.
It means easing our way down several metres of a rocky embankment. Not particularly steep, but a bit tricky. Not that the cloven hoofed among us have any problem.
Nick has rid himself of his footwear by the time I catch up. The pool is sun-glinting and fresh, totally inviting. Neither of us anticipated a need to bring swim trunks. We look around as we scale down to our boxers. There’s been no one in sight for ages.
Nick strikes a foot in the water and quickly recoils. ‘Dad, man, I don’t know about this.’
‘There’s only one way in, Nick!’ Which means a deep intake of air, an ungainly scuff over the rocks, and a horizontal lunge into the deepest part.
Cold as all hell and capable of shrivelling cast iron!
He knows I’ll pulverize him with water, so better to get it over with. Nick plunges in and shoots back up, all in one motion, screeching with everything his lungs can hold. ‘Ho-ly shit!’
He stays all of ten seconds. Deed done, point made, he’s back onshore, rubbing himself down with his sweat shirt. Then off he hobbles, a goose-fleshed stick of a kid, Blundstones and boardshorts in hand, to find someplace halfway secluded.
I’m afraid I’m not quite so modest. There’s a lot to be said for standing unabashedly naked on rocks from the earth’s mantle, even if it is only for a few seconds, until I get back into hiking shorts. There’s a certain cosmic karma to it. Something primal. Man transcending time and fashion.
All that suddenly pitched aside.
‘DAAAD!’ Laced in terror.
What the fuck! ‘I’m coming!’ He’s injured. Sounding worse than that. I force my way into my hiking boots, knowing I’ll never be able to run over the rocks without them.
I find him standing motionless, unhurt, thank God. Dressed, his hair askew, his faded t-shirt clinging to him where he hasn’t completely dried himself.
‘Nick, what’s…’
His hand clenches my arm.
‘Oh, Jesus.’
I force his head into my chest. In front of us, mostly under rock, is a body, its throat slashed. Jesus. Hideous, and for the first few seconds incomprehensible.
The poor bugger’s face is covered. But not his throat. That is thrown back at an angle that widens the gash obscenely.
The edges have constricted in the sun, the flesh surrounding it caked with blood dried to earth red. Hardly any contrast to the shadowed, rusted colour of the rocks.
So little difference between the colour of the rocks and the colour of the dead man’s skin that Nick had stepped on the leg before he saw the severed throat. Whoever had piled on the rocks must have run off before the job was done, leaving in view a section of the other thigh, an arm, and, crudely confirming it to be a man, an unpulverized top half of his penis.
Cringe and groan. Not something man or boy needs to see in his lifetime. Makes a fellow think twice about exposing his own boxered member on the Tablelands ever again.
Arm around his shoulder, I steer Nick away from the scene. He’s shaking still.
911. A cop gets back to me, then someone from Parks Canada to establish where we are exactly. I bolster Nick back up the incline, all the time trying to talk him down from his shock.
There’s a boulder big enough to seat both of us, from where we will be able to sight the cops as they make their way in our direction.
‘You okay?’
He nods, unconvincingly. ‘Gross,’ he says. The all-encompassing word. I’m thinking he’s seen worse in movies, on the Internet. Painful to witness, oddly reassuring that the real thing unsettles him.
A bit too much. He starts to cry and is shaking more than ever. I dig out the windbreaker that’s in the bottom of my backpack and get him into it. Far too big of course, the sleeves ending past his hands. He settles against my chest, trying to control his sobs, wiping his snotnose in the sleeve of the jacket. Now, again, very much the kid.
‘It’s okay, Nick.’ I hold his head to me and lean my cheek into the top of it.
I was thirty before I saw a dead person, and that was an aunt who looked better in her casket than she did in real life. What Nick saw will stick with him for a long time. But I’ll hold him for all I’m worth when he needs it, and together we’ll get him through this. That’s what fathers are supposed to be good at.