King Matt the First

THERE WAS A great procession at the king’s funeral. Black crepe was wound around the streetlights and all the bells were rung. The band played a funeral march. Cannons and soldiers went by. Special trains brought in flowers from the warmer countries. Everyone was very sad. The newspapers said that the whole nation wept for the loss of its beloved king.

Matt was sitting in his room. He was sad, too, for even though he was to become king, he had lost his father and was now all alone in the world.

Matt thought of his mother. It was she who had given him the name Matt. Although his mother had been the queen, she had not been distant and haughty at all: she played games and blocks with him, told him fairy tales, and explained the pictures in his books to him. Matt had not seen very much of his father, because the king was often with the army or with his guests, entertaining other kings. And he always had meetings and consultations.

But whenever the king could find a free moment for Matt he would play ninepins or go out riding with him down the long tree-lined paths of the royal gardens, the king on a horse, Matt on a pony.

But what would happen now? He’d be stuck with his boring foreign tutor, who always looked as if he had just drunk a glass of vinegar.

And was it really so much fun to be a king? It probably wasn’t. If there really was a war, you could at least fight. But what does a king do in peacetime?

Matt was sad when he was alone in his room, and he was sad when he looked through the gate of the royal gardens at the servants’ children playing happily in the palace courtyard.

Seven boys were playing war, their usual game. They were always led into attack, drilled, and commanded by a small and very jolly boy. His name was Felek. That’s what the other boys called him.

Many times Matt had wanted to call him over and even talk with him a little through the gate, but he did not know if he was allowed to and what would happen if he did, and he did not know what to say to start a conversation.

Meanwhile, proclamations had been posted on every wall saying that Matt was now the king, that he sent greetings to his subjects, and that all the ministers would stay on and help the young king in his work.

All the stores were full of photographs of Matt. Matt on a pony. Matt in a sailor suit. Matt in an army uniform. Matt reviewing the troops. The theaters showed newsreels about Matt. All the illustrated magazines in the country and abroad were full of Matt.

To tell the truth, everyone loved Matt. The old people pitied him because he had lost both parents so young. The boys were happy that now there was a boy whom everyone had to obey; even generals had to stand at attention and grownup soldiers present arms when Matt was there. The girls liked the little king on his handsome pony. But the orphans loved him most of all.

When the queen was still alive, she always sent candy to the orphanages on the holidays. After she died, the king had ordered that the candy continue to be sent. And though Matt knew nothing about it for a long time, candy and toys were being sent in his name to the orphans. Only much later did Matt learn that an entry in the budget could make people very happy without his even knowing about it. Six months after Matt had succeeded to the throne, he chanced to acquire great popularity. That means that everyone was talking about him, not just because he was the king, but because he had done something that people liked.

I’ll tell you what happened. For a long time Matt begged his doctor for permission to take walks around the city or at least to be brought once a week to the park where the children played.

“I know the royal gardens are beautiful, but it’s boring to be alone even in the most beautiful gardens.”

Finally, the doctor promised, and he applied through the marshal of the court to the palace administration; at the council of ministers, the king’s guardian obtained permission for King Matt to take three walks every two weeks.

It might seem strange that it was so difficult for a king to go out for an ordinary walk. But the marshal of the court only agreed out of gratitude to the doctor, who had recently cured him when he had eaten a fish that was none too fresh. And the palace administration only gave its agreement because it hoped that now it would be given money to build a new stable, and the Minister of Internal Affairs (who was head of the police) only agreed to get even with the Minister of Finance. Every time the king went out for a walk, the police would receive three thousand ducats and the sanitation division a barrel of eau de cologne and a thousand gold ducats. Before King Matt left for his walk, two hundred workers and one hundred cleaning women would clean the park thoroughly. Before each walk, they would rake the park and repaint the benches. All the paths would be sprinkled with eau de cologne, the dust wiped from the trees and leaves. The doctors made sure that everything was clean and free of dust, because dirt and dust are unhealthy. The police made sure that there were no bad boys in the park who would throw stones, punch and shove, fight and shout, when the king was out walking.

King Matt had a wonderful time. He wore regular clothes so no one would recognize him. And it never even entered anyone’s mind that the king would come to an ordinary park. King Matt walked all around the park twice and then asked if he could sit on a bench by the square where the children were playing. He had only been sitting there a little while when a girl came up to him and asked: “Do you want to play?”

She took Matt by the hand and they started playing together. The girls were singing songs and going around in a circle. Then, while they were waiting to start a new game, the girl started talking to Matt.

“Do you have a little sister?”

“No, I don’t.”

“What does your daddy do?”

“My daddy is dead. He was the king.”

The little girl must have thought Matt was joking, because she broke out laughing and said: “If my father was the king, he would have to buy me a doll that reached up to the ceiling.”

She told him that her father was a captain in the fire department, that her name was Irenka, and that she loved the firemen, who sometimes let her ride on their horses.

Matt would gladly have stayed longer, but he only had permission to stay until forty-three seconds past four-twenty.

Matt waited impatiently for his next walk, but it rained, and they were too worried about his health to let him go out.

The next time, Matt was playing ring-around-the-rosy with the girls when a few boys walked over and one of them shouted: “Look, a boy playing with girls.”

They started laughing.

King Matt noticed that he really was the only boy playing ring-around-the-rosy.

“You should come play with us,” said the boy.

Matt looked at him closely. It was Felek! The same boy Matt had wanted to meet so long ago.

Felek looked closely at Matt, then shouted at the top of his lungs: “This kid looks just like King Matt!”

Matt felt terribly embarrassed because everyone had started looking at him. He began running away as fast as possible toward the adjutant who had brought him to the park and who was also disguised in regular clothes. But, either from haste or from embarrassment, he fell and scraped his knee.

At the council of ministers it was decided that the king could no longer be allowed to go out for walks. They would do everything the king wanted, but he could not go to regular parks because there were naughty children who would pick fights with him and laugh at him. The council of ministers could not allow the king to be laughed at; it was an insult to his royal honor.

Matt was very upset, and for a long time he thought about his two days of happy games in the park. Then he remembered Irenka’s wish: She wants a doll that reaches up to the ceiling.

Soon that was all he could think about.

I am the king, after all, and I have the right to give orders. And everybody has to obey them. I’m learning to read and write just like all the other children. The multiplication tables are the same for kings as they are for everyone else. Why be a king if you can’t do what you want?

So Matt rebelled, and during an audience he demanded very loudly that the Prime Minister buy the biggest doll in the world and send it to Irenka.

“Your Royal Highness deigns to remark . . .” the Prime Minister began to say.

Matt knew what would happen—that unbearable person would talk for a long time and say a lot of things that didn’t mean anything at all, and in the end, nothing would happen with the doll. Then Matt remembered how once that same minister had started to explain something to his father in the very same way. The king had stamped his foot and said, “That is my absolute wish.”

And so Matt stamped his foot just like his father used to, and said very loudly: “Mr. Prime Minister, that is my absolute wish.”

The Prime Minister looked at Matt in surprise, then wrote something down in his notebook and mumbled: “I will present your Royal Highness’s wish at the next council of ministers.”

No one knows what was said at the next council of ministers, because their meeting was held behind closed doors. However, they did decide to buy the doll, and the Minister of Commerce ran around to all the stores for two days inspecting all the largest dolls. But a doll as big as the one Matt wanted was nowhere to be found. Then the Minister of Commerce summoned all the doll manufacturers to a meeting, and one manufacturer agreed to make the doll in four weeks at his factory, for a very high price. And when the doll was ready, he displayed it in the window of his store with a sign: The Purveyor to His Royal Majesty’s Court has produced this doll for Irenka, the daughter of a captain in the fire department.

Right away, the newspapers began featuring photographs of the fire department fighting fires, as well as pictures of Irenka and her doll. People said that King Matt loved to watch the fire trucks go by and to watch fires. Someone wrote a letter to the newspaper saying he was ready to burn his own house down if their beloved King Matt loved fires. Many girls wrote letters to King Matt saying they, too, wanted dolls badly, but the secretary of the court never read those letters to Matt, because he had been strictly forbidden to by the Prime Minister, who was very angry about the entire affair.

Crowds of people stood in front of the store for three days looking at the king’s present, and it was only on the fourth day that, by order of the prefect of police, the doll was taken off display so that the crowds would not block the trolleys and cars. For a long time, people talked about the doll and about Matt, who had given Irenka such a beautiful present.