The Canterville Ghost
Oscar Wilde
I
When Mr. Hiram B. Otis, the American Minister, bought
Canterville Chase, every one told him he was doing a very foolish
thing, as there was no doubt at all that the place was haunted.
Indeed, Lord Canterville himself, who was a man of the most
punctilious honour, had felt it his duty to mention the fact to Mr.
Otis when they came to discuss terms.
"We have not cared to live in the place ourselves," said Lord
Canterville, "since my grandaunt, the Dowager Duchess of Bolton,
was frightened into a fit, from which she never really recovered,
by two skeleton hands being placed on her shoulders as she was
dressing for dinner, and I feel bound to tell you, Mr. Otis, that
the ghost has been seen by several living members of my family, as
well as by the rector of the parish, the Rev. Augustus Dampier, who
is a Fellow of King's College, Cambridge. After the unfortunate
accident to the Duchess, none of our younger servants would stay
with us, and Lady Canterville often got very little sleep at night,
in consequence of the mysterious noises that came from the corridor
and the library."
"My Lord," answered the Minister, "I will take the furniture
and the ghost at a valuation. I have come from a modern country,
where we have everything that money can buy; and with all our spry
young fellows painting the Old World red, and carrying off your
best actors and prima-donnas, I reckon that if there were such a
thing as a ghost in Europe, we'd have it at home in a very short
time in one of our public museums, or on the road as a
show."
"I fear that the ghost exists," said Lord Canterville,
smiling, "though it may have resisted the overtures of your
enterprising impresarios. It has been well known for three
centuries, since 1584 in fact, and always makes its appearance
before the death of any member of our family."
"Well, so does the family doctor for that matter, Lord
Canterville. But there is no such thing, sir, as a ghost, and I
guess the laws of Nature are not going to be suspended for the
British aristocracy."
"You are certainly very natural in America," answered Lord
Canterville, who did not quite understand Mr. Otis's last
observation, "and if you don't mind a ghost in the house, it is all
right. Only you must remember I warned you."
MISS VIRGINIA E. OTIS
A few weeks after this, the purchase was concluded, and at
the close of the season the Minister and his family went down to
Canterville Chase. Mrs. Otis, who, as Miss Lucretia R. Tappan, of
West 53d Street, had been a celebrated New York belle, was now a
very handsome, middle-aged woman, with fine eyes, and a superb
profile. Many American ladies on leaving their native land adopt an
appearance of chronic ill-health, under the impression that it is a
form of European refinement, but Mrs. Otis had never fallen into
this error. She had a magnificent constitution, and a really
wonderful amount of animal spirits. Indeed, in many respects, she
was quite English, and was an excellent example of the fact that we
have really everything in common with America nowadays, except, of
course, language. Her eldest son, christened Washington by his
parents in a moment of patriotism, which he never ceased to regret,
was a fair-haired, rather good-looking young man, who had qualified
himself for American diplomacy by leading the German at the Newport
Casino for three successive seasons, and even in London was well
known as an excellent dancer. Gardenias and the peerage were his
only weaknesses. Otherwise he was extremely sensible. Miss Virginia
E. Otis was a little girl of fifteen, lithe and lovely as a fawn,
and with a fine freedom in her large blue eyes. She was a wonderful
Amazon, and had once raced old Lord Bilton on her pony twice round
the park, winning by a length and a half, just in front of the
Achilles statue, to the huge delight of the young Duke of Cheshire,
who proposed for her on the spot, and was sent back to Eton that
very night by his guardians, in floods of tears. After Virginia
came the twins, who were usually called "The Star and Stripes," as
they were always getting swished. They were delightful boys, and,
with the exception of the worthy Minister, the only true
republicans of the family.
"HAD ONCE RACED OLD LORD BILTON ON HER
PONY"
As Canterville Chase is seven miles from Ascot, the nearest
railway station, Mr. Otis had telegraphed for a waggonette to meet
them, and they started on their drive in high spirits. It was a
lovely July evening, and the air was delicate with the scent of the
pinewoods. Now and then they heard a wood-pigeon brooding over its
own sweet voice, or saw, deep in the rustling fern, the burnished
breast of the pheasant. Little squirrels peered at them from the
beech-trees as they went by, and the rabbits scudded away through
the brushwood and over the mossy knolls, with their white tails in
the air. As they entered the avenue of Canterville Chase, however,
the sky became suddenly overcast with clouds, a curious stillness
seemed to hold the atmosphere, a great flight of rooks passed
silently over their heads, and, before they reached the house, some
big drops of rain had fallen.
Suddenly Mrs. Otis caught sight of a dull red stain on the
floor just by the fireplace, and, quite unconscious of what it
really signified, said to Mrs. Umney, "I am afraid something has
been spilt there."
"How horrid!" cried Mrs. Otis; "I don't at all care for
blood-stains in a sitting-room. It must be removed at
once."
"That is all nonsense," cried Washington Otis; "Pinkerton's
Champion Stain Remover and Paragon Detergent will clean it up in no
time," and before the terrified housekeeper could interfere, he had
fallen upon his knees, and was rapidly scouring the floor with a
small stick of what looked like a black cosmetic. In a few moments
no trace of the blood-stain could be seen.
"What a monstrous climate!" said the American Minister,
calmly, as he lit a long cheroot. "I guess the old country is so
overpopulated that they have not enough decent weather for
everybody. I have always been of opinion that emigration is the
only thing for England."
"Charge it to her like breakages," answered the Minister;
"she won't faint after that;" and in a few moments Mrs. Umney
certainly came to. There was no doubt, however, that she was
extremely upset, and she sternly warned Mr. Otis to beware of some
trouble coming to the house.