001

Table of Contents
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Table of Figures
 

“As Wilson and Gislason write, our sector is facing a crisis in leadership—many nonprofits need to learn how to invest in their top talent, cultivate next-generation leaders, and share leadership more broadly. Coaching is one very important way they can do this. This book gives nonprofit managers and leaders a new skill-set to move beyond the outdated ‘heroic leader’ model. The authors have done a real service to the field.”
Heather McLeod Grant, coauthor, Forces for Good, and consultant, Monitor Institute
 
“This book presents a compelling case for why coaching is an effective leadership development strategy. Based on real-life management lessons, this book provides practical answers to the dilemma faced by the nonprofit sector—how to attract, retain, and motivate talented people.”
—Cristina M. Regalado, vice president of programs, The California Wellness Foundation
 
“If you believe in collaborative leadership, then coaching is the perfect approach to developing and supporting it. This book is the total guide to supporting people to make the highest possible contribution to the mission of their organization. Brava to Judith and Michelle for sharing such a wealth of practical and specific skills to get us all there.”
—Catherine A. Merschel, executive director, Build It Green
 
“The tools and ideas Michelle and Judith present in this book are the real deal. I know. They have helped strengthen my leadership and my organization in more ways than I could have imagined.”
—Aspen Baker, executive director, Exhale
 
“Gislason and Wilson combine coaching expertise and practical nonprofit examples that can be used in real-life situations. Essential reading for anyone interested in developing the next generation of leaders right inside their own organizations.”
—Linda Wood, Evelyn and Walter Haas, Jr. Fund
 
“This will surely be a seminal book about how to use coaching for leadership development, problem solving, and staying sane in one of the most challenging jobs in the world—nonprofit leader.”
—Carter McNamara, Authenticity Consulting, LLC
 
“This book provides valuable tools both for becoming a more effective leader and for encouraging others to develop their own leadership skills. It provides practical and commonsense guidance and also provides ‘aha’ moments of insight. I know what a gift coaching is. I know I have become a better leader as a result.”
—Ellen Dumesnil, division director, Catholic Charities of Santa Clara County Economic Development Services
Coaching Skills for Nonprofit Managers and Leaders not only offers a clear frame and a step-by-step guide to coaching but also shows how organizations can shift their leadership culture and build a dynamic multigenerational leadership.”
—Helen Kim, Coauthor of Working Across Generations: Defining the Future of Nonprofit Leadership
 
“Retention is a huge issue facing the nonprofit sector. Most people leave their jobs because of bad managers. This book is a major remedy for this problem.”
—Stephen Bauer, executive director, Nonprofit Workforce Coalition
 
“Wilson and Gislason are experts in the field and provide a contribution that has been sorely lacking for nonprofit leaders seeking to develop their staff. Practical, concise, and full of clear examples of how to coach for greater effectiveness. Well worth the time investment!”
—Ann V. Deaton, leadership coach, DaVinci Resources
 
“Wilson and Gislason remind us that we all can benefit from coaching and give us a model that is clear, interesting, and—most important—immediately useful.”
—Paul Groesbeck, executive director, Life Foundation, Honolulu
 
“As an executive director of a small and very diverse staff, I find that this book provides me with practical tips and helpful tools on how to work with staff to build on their strengths—creating a stronger team, increasing organizational capacity, and developing future nonprofit leaders.”
—Ellen Wu, executive director, California Pan-Ethnic Health Network (CPEHN)
 
“I enthusiastically recommend the principles and contemporary coaching approaches outlined in this fresh perspective on the time-worn dilemma: how to do more with less, while growing nonprofit professionals who truly lead and innovate.”
—Kathy Riggins, president and CEO, YMCA of Silicon Valley
 
“Anyone seeking the ‘X Factor’ missing from their own management and leadership skill toolkit ought to read this book. Wilson and Gislason provide useful coaching dialogues that confront the realities of managing, developing, and retaining talented staff at all levels of an organization.”
—Michael L. Edell, senior vice president, Netzel Grigsby Associates, Inc. (former vice president of research for the American Heart Association)
 
“This book speaks to overcoming the scarcity mentality of nonprofits when solving gaps in talent, training, and resources.”
—Peter S. Crosby, founding partner, AllTogetherNow Advisors

001

002

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
 
 
 
 
The origins of this book lie in the coaching manual that was created by Judith Wilson eight years ago for a CompassPoint training. Although the ideas and presentation of this material have been put to paper by the two of us, we gratefully acknowledge our debt to the many other coaches, trainers, and friends who have contributed to our learning.
 
First, we gratefully acknowledge the contributions of our colleague Rich Snowdon, who served as an invaluable adviser as the concept for this book was taking shape.
We also thank CompassPoint’s leadership—CEO Jeanne Bell and senior project directors Steve Lew and Tim Wolfred—for their guidance and support for this book, and we offer special thanks to grants and publications director, Cristina Chan, for calmly guiding this book through the writing and submission process.
The official readers of our draft manuscript provided us with extremely important feedback. We thank the following for volunteering their time and insight: Julie Alef, Deborah L. Coleman, Ann V. Deaton, Janet L. Flint, Donald J. Gerard, Susan B. Wilkes, and Julia R. Wilson.
We also thank Prism Coaching for contributing to our thinking on culture, specifically Donald Gerard and Wendy Chiyo Horikoshi, and we thank Melissa Mahoney for the beautiful graphics of the coaching model she created for the book. We have benefited greatly from all the authors whose work we reference.
Finally, we owe a great deal of gratitude to all our clients and workshop participants who have contributed their insight on this topic and who inspire us every day with their commitment and leadership. These contributors include the following:
Angel Barrios, Institute for Human and Social Development
Casey Ryan Budesilich, Breakthrough Collaborative
Percy Campbell, Youth Uprising
Cathy Craig, Bay Area Local Initiatives Support Corporation
Mary Donnelly-Crocker, Young & Healthy
Kristen Dambrowski, Presidio Community YMCA
Michael Dismuke, Eden Housing Management, Inc.
Andrea M. Finley, Child Care Links
Shannon Griffin, 4 C’s of Alameda County
Caroline Griswold, National Writing Project
Amanda Kobler, Kobler Development Consulting
Patricia Osage, Satellite Housing
Josephine Pritchard, Coastside Children’s Programs
Sara Razavi, Honoring Emancipated Youth (HEY)
Carol Richards, Neighborhood Infant Toddler Center
Susie M. Rivera, Fresh Lifelines for Youth (FLY) Program
Pat Swartz, Girls Incorporated of Alameda County
Meredith Thomas, Neighborhood Parks Council
Julia Wilson, Public Interest Clearinghouse and the Legal Aid Association of California
Luke Woodward, Asian & Pacific Islander Wellness Center
Judith would like to also acknowledge Eiji Hirai, her husband, greatest ally, and dearest friend: Thank you for believing in me as an author and the daily love and support you provided that cheered me on. Thanks for all the weekends we gave up while I made progress. And a special thanks to my friends who offered their help and wisdom along the way and who let me disappear for a period of time to get the writing done.
 
This book was made possible by the generous funding of the W. K. Kellogg Foundation and The Harnisch Family Foundation.

PREFACE: A NOTE FROM THE AUTHORS
 
 
 
 
A surprising number of people have asked us why we wrote this book. We’ve simply told them, “Because we love nonprofits and want to see them thrive.” But then they’d ask for more, so here’s the why behind the book.
 
Judith:In 2000, I was sitting in Toronto in the middle of the first organizational coaching conference. I looked around and saw it was all businesspeople, and I asked myself, “Where are the nonprofits? Why don’t they get to have this too?” I thought nonprofit leaders could thrive even more if they had access to a coach, and they would benefit greatly from knowing how to coach those who worked with them.
Michelle:At CompassPoint during the late 1990s, we were distressed by what we were hearing anecdotally from nonprofit leaders about their tenure, and we started putting significant new resources into finding ways to provide support for them.
In 1999, we conducted a research study we called “Leadership Lost,” and then we did a follow-up in 2001 titled “Daring to Lead.” Although the results of those studies weren’t completely surprising, they were still shocking. So many leaders told us they were burning out. So many told us they were planning to leave leadership positions sooner rather than later. And given that, how could our sector possibly sustain itself? In 2000, we started working with Rich Snowdon to check out coaching in small ways with small projects. We got interested enough that we decided to test it seriously. We wanted to find out whether coaching could really make a difference for our nonprofit leaders or whether this was just another passing fad.
So we launched the Executive Coaching Project, a yearlong demonstration project in which we provided forty hours of coaching to twenty-four executive directors (EDs). Judith was one of the coaches on that project, and that’s how we first met.
We integrated assessment into the project at many points and had it measured and studied by an independent evaluation firm. The results were well beyond what we expected. The overall satisfaction rate was 4.5 out of 5 for the EDs, so that was quite a vote of confidence. But there were many other things we saw that were confirming: increased effectiveness with fundraising, strategic thinking, program design, and sustainability, both personally and professionally.
Also—and especially interesting to me—we saw increased effectiveness in supervising and working with staff. Many of the EDs had started doing with their staff what their coaches were doing with them. And they were getting results that made both them and their staffs much happier and more effective.
In 2003, after the results were published, Jossey-Bass called and asked if CompassPoint wanted to do a book on coaching. We told them we’d love to, but we weren’t yet ready. We had more work to do. If we were going to do a book, we’d need to have enough depth with coaching so we could really do it right.
In 2004, Rich and I launched a series called Thriving for Executive Directors, in which we did coaching-style workshops with a group of twelve EDs; we gave them individual coaching sessions as well. Over and over we saw discouraged EDs come back to life. We saw them claim their talents and strengths and remember who they were as leaders. And having gotten a renewed sense of themselves, they were surprised to see how much more easily they were able to clear away problems that had previously been blocking them.
At about the same time, I set up a coaching referral service at CompassPoint. I kept seeing the difference between the moments when someone first called to get a coach and later after several months of coaching. People were doing so much better because of the coaching. They were finding much more satisfaction in their work. And they weren’t talking about quitting leadership.
Judith:In my coaching practice, I had started working with leaders and managers in all sectors, but I kept finding myself called to nonprofit work, and nonprofits kept calling me. So, remembering Toronto, I created the class called Coaching Skills for Managers. I offered it to CompassPoint, and they jumped at it.
Michelle:This workshop has been one of our most successful ever and is even more popular today than when it started. To date, through Judith’s workshops and the other coaching programs CompassPoint has run, we’ve trained more than 2,500 managers, leaders, supervisors, board members, volunteers, and foundation staff in using the coaching approach.
One thing people have said to us again and again is, “Instead of just coaching us, you’ re teaching us how to use coaching effectively with our staff and everyone we come in contact with. And that has made such a difference.”
Then in 2006, we got the most amazing call from the W. K. Kellogg Foundation, and we stepped in to manage a national project for them—Coaching and Philanthropy—to test out coaching in even greater depth and to see how it might integrate more deeply into the life of nonprofit organizations. The project has continued to increase our awareness and knowledge of how coaching can have an impact on nonprofit leadership development and organizational effectiveness.
Judith:While this swirl of coaching activity was going on at CompassPoint, people started asking me for a book. They loved the workshop, but they wanted something to take them to greater depth and something they could refer back to when they were trying to figure out a particularly tough situation. I know how repeated review can help lock in new skills and make them second nature, so I wanted there to be a book, too. Then in 2007, I led a session on coaching at CompassPoint’s Nonprofit Day Conference.
Michelle:The session sold out fast and was high energy. There was a lot of enthusiasm in the room. Unbeknownst to us, Allison Brunner from Jossey-Bass was there, and she said again, “This should be a book.” This time we were ready to go. Of course, there were lots of coaching books already on the market. But we wanted something just for us and our community.
Judith:People ask me what I do all day. Half the time I coach individuals at all levels, in all fields, in many countries. The other half of my time is spent training managers to learn how to coach too. I coach not only because it is my calling to help people be their best; I do it because coaching is the backbone of learning. Coaching helps a person translate thought into action. Coaching is my passion. It’s just plain fun pulling out the brilliance in people that has yet to fully surface.
Everyone deserves easy access to the gifts coaching has to offer. No one should have to wait for a special time to learn and grow. I’ m personally on a mission to place coaching skills into the hands of everyone who wants them. I imagine a world where everyone will use the coaching approach. Up and down. Peer to peer. All around us.
Michelle:I have a passion for working with leaders of social change. There is nothing I love more than seeing these passionate and gutsy individuals claim their personal leadership style and ask for what they need so they can sustain themselves as leaders. And I love seeing how they first take coaching for themselves and then pass it on to their own staff with a sense of sharing something that really matters.
Margaret Wheatley, in her book Leadership and the New Science, talks about “ living into” different behaviors, even when—especially when—tested by events and crises. She says, “We slowly become who we said we wanted to be.” To me, this is coaching. And this is what managers can support others to do—help them become who they say they want to be. Coaching doesn’t need to be a costly resource only a few people in an organization get to have. It’s a skill that can live everywhere in the organization. Nonprofits are champions of equity and access. And that’s what this book is about too. I’ m with Judith—let’s get coaching into the hands of anyone who wants it.
Judith and Michelle:Together, we’ve written this book for you, the nonprofit manager. In the years of doing our work to support the remarkable people who are dedicated to social change, we have yet to find a more useful competency than that of coaching. We believe coaching provides the foundation and platform for enduring change. We believe coaching will help you be of great service to all those around you. Take a moment—and sometimes it just takes a moment—to be someone’s thought partner, and together you’ll do what you couldn’t do alone.
August 2009
 
Judith Wilson
San Mateo, California
 
Michelle Gislason
San Francisco, California

The sweetest and simplest thing
that happens to me each and every day
is the man I come home to.
Eiji Hirai, thanks for being
my best friend and forever husband.
—Judith Wilson
 
 
 
For my parents, Sandy and John,
who taught me to love words,
to embrace my curiosity,
and to adapt to just about anything.
For Hal, whom I miss.
And for Keenan, who makes me smile every single day.
 
—Michelle Gislason

INTRODUCTION: WHY COACHING NOW?
 
 
 
 
Imagine you supervise a development director. Let’s call him Michael. Michael has just met with a funder on his own. He thinks his performance could have been better and is frustrated because he didn’t get the response he was looking for. He comes to you for guidance. Even though he’s not new to development, it is tempting to tell him what to do. You are in a hurry. To you it seems very clear. And it is human nature to jump to the seemingly most efficient approach, which is giving advice. This is an option. You could give him advice and send him on his way, confident that he got the benefit of your years of experience. Or you could do something different.
 
Instead of telling him what to do, you take a couple of minutes to ask some questions. You ask things like, “What went well in the meeting?” “How could things have gone better?” “What outcome were you seeking?” You give him time to think about this. He begins to offer things like, “I didn’t really take time to get to know the funder or her interest in the program before I launched into my proposal,” or, “Now I realize I needed to spend time practicing beforehand. I was kind of nervous.” You ask what else he could have done. He thinks some more, then says, “You know, I should have created a handout to share so things were clearer as I presented our ideas.” You ask Michael how he plans to do things differently next time. He says, “ I ’m going to prepare something in writing, and I’ m going to practice my presentation with a colleague before I go to the meeting. I’ m also going to take some time to ask the funder what about this program interests her and what she’s hoping to accomplish by working with us.” You support his decisions and perhaps add a small suggestion for him to consider. You ask what you can do to support him, and he shares that he’d love someone to give him feedback on his next presentation beforehand. You agree and make plans for next time.
This took perhaps five to ten minutes; it didn’t require you to have all the answers, and yet it provided an opportunity for Michael to reflect, learn, and make some conscious decisions about what to do next time. This is a coaching approach.

WHY BOTHER WITH COACHING?

As coaches and trainers to nonprofit organizations, we have seen firsthand the many challenges nonprofit managers face. Nonprofits, and those of us who work in them, are under pressure. Resources are stretched thin. We are trying to do more with less. This scarcity of resources is inherent in many nonprofits, if not the majority of small to midsized organizations. And at the time of this writing, an economic recession unlike any we have seen in years is exacerbating this problem. Yet a number of specific trends are occurring in the sector that make it important for nonprofit organizations to consider strategies like coaching to develop and support staff. On a macro-scale, the nonprofit sector is grappling with a leadership crisis. Many of the baby-boom generation are retiring. Talent is leaving. On a micro-scale, we’ve found that people working and volunteering in the sector struggle with managing, developing, and retaining talented staff.
There are countless articles and studies on nonprofit leadership in the nonprofit sector, and even more in the world at large. Grantmakers for Effective Organizations (GEO) provides a fairly comprehensive literature review on leadership development. We won’t overwhelm you with all the research by taking a deep dive into this. However, we do want you to consider some of the typical leadership and management issues the sector is currently grappling with and how coaching may be one way to respond. Specifically, we address the nonprofit leadership deficit and the desire for a new playing field.

THE NONPROFIT LEADERSHIP DEFICIT

The Shrinking Talent Pool

Workforce challenges in the sector have been well documented. CompassPoint’s “Daring to Lead” study reports that 75 percent of executives polled plan to leave the sector within five years (Bell, Moyers, and Wolfred, 2006, p. 3). Many of these executives are founding executive directors (EDs) who are of the post- World War II baby-boom generation and who have plans to retire. The baby-boom generation is 76 million people—significantly larger than the succeeding Generation X cohort of only 58 million. “The Leadership Deficit,” a report by the nonprofit consulting group Bridgespan, predicts that there will be 640,000 vacant senior management positions in the next decade (Tierney, 2006, p. 26). This poses a mathematical dilemma that has many people concerned that there will not be enough people to fill those positions.
“ The Leadership Deficit,” a report by the nonprofit consulting group Bridgespan, predicts that there will be 640,000 vacant senior management positions in the next decade.
—Thomas J. Tierney, 2006, p. 26
Moreover, it’s not just executives that nonprofits are losing. As researcher Paul Light asserts, one of the nonprofit sector’s most valuable resources is its workforce. Light found nonprofit employees to be highly motivated, hard-working, and deeply committed. But he also discovered that “nonprofit employees experience high levels of stress and burnout, and report that their organizations do not provide enough training and staff to succeed” (Light, 2002, p. 1).
Despite the economic uncertainty we all are facing, we cannot ignore the fact that there is a leadership and workforce deficit that will have drastic and long-lasting impact in the sector. This requires us to look at ways to build leadership and management capacity in organizations.

The Need for Internal Succession Planning

Leadership succession is a hot topic. Bridgespan’s leadership program, Bridgestar, is focusing on how to move management team members into executive director positions. Public Allies, a leadership organization, is making significant efforts to train next-generation leaders. Nonprofit Management and Leadership Certification Program, American Humanics is working with colleges and universities to steer graduates into the nonprofit sector and organizations that need to increase their leadership “bench strength.” All of these activities indicate the need for organizations to expand their internal leadership development programs now.
In his book Built to Last, Jim Collins notes that the most successful organizations fill their top spots from within (Collins and Porras, 1994). We believe he’s right. Never before has there been such urgency to develop new leaders from within organizations at every level. The good news is that there is evidence of a new cohort of leaders. “Ready to Lead,” the CompassPoint research study mentioned earlier, discovered that one in three respondents indicated an aspiration to be an executive director someday. When asked what they needed to prepare for the position, they named such readiness factors as developing external networks, management skills, and an ability to lead, supervise, and manage staff. Surprisingly, 55 percent of all survey respondents believed that they needed to leave their organizations in order to advance their careers (Cornelius, Corvington, and Ruesga, 2008, pp. 20-22). This data point is reinforced by research from Bridgespan, which states that two-thirds of the time, a nonprofit board fills a leadership position from the outside because “there just isn’t the strength on the inside” (Duxbury, 2008). We are seeing how coaching helps to strengthen internal leaders and support career expansion.
One of the reasons I left [my last position] is that
there was a real unwillingness to share knowledge
with me. I felt that I wasn’t working to my potential.
They weren’t allowing me to do the job that I
thought I was hired for.
—Unnamed executive director, quoted in Cornelius, Corvington, and Ruesga, 2008, p. 22

The Challenge to Attract and Retain Talent

As nonprofit leaders retire or leave because of burnout, nonprofits will be challenged to find and retain talent. According to American Humanics, the sector has long-standing recruitment and retention problems that are exacerbated by competition with the public and private sectors (Halpern, 2006). As social entrepreneurship and corporate social responsibility continue to gain traction, nonprofit workers may become more and more “sector agnostic” as they seek careers that are meaningful to them. In fact, a survey by the Young Nonprofit Professionals Network indicates that 45 percent of its members intend to pursue for-profit jobs. As Commongood Careers (2008) states, “In the war for talent, nonprofits are poorly matched in terms of financial resources and recruiting expertise” (p. 3).
As nonprofit trainers and coaches, we have come to witness something commonly referred to as a culture of scarcity in the nonprofit sector. In Financial Leadership, the authors hypothesize:
When mission perpetually (and heavily) outweighs money, it may be that key people inside the organization are stuck in the ‘ nonprofits can’t make money’ mind-set. . . . Symptoms of the culture of scarcity include underpaying key staff. . . . Another characteristic of nonprofits that lean too heavily toward mission is underinvestment in infrastructure [Bell and Schaffer, 2006, p. 8].
It’s not news that nonprofits are challenged to operate on extremely tight budgets. However, these budget challenges can affect the ability to invest in, for example, training and staff development. In his article “The Leadership Deficit,” Tom Tierney (2006) references this infrastructure component: “nonprofits can rarely afford to make investments in HR, recruitment and leadership training . . . and tend to view such expenditures as wasteful overhead. . . . There is a view that resources devoted to leadership capacity—recruiting expenses, training costs, salaries and benefits. . . . should all be kept to a bare minimum” (pp. 13-16).
Often in the nonprofit sector, because of the scarcity of resources, issues like training, professional development, leadership development are viewed as the most discretionary items and are the first to go in difficult economic times. . . . This is really important to the long-term health of an organization and of the sector.
—Jim Canales, president and CEO, James Irvine Foundation, quoted in Duxbury, 2008
The culture of scarcity is exacerbated by the reality that many organizations are struggling to stay afloat financially, and this can result in nonprofits failing to invest in needed training and professional development of staff, which can then result in staff retention issues. We all might do well to strategize further about how to maximize the resources we do have, including our human resources. Not only is this smart planning, it will also help us embrace the new dynamic that we are asked to work within: fewer resources and people who expect more than ever.

THE NEED FOR A NEW PLAYING FIELD

New Talent Wants Something Different

Huge efforts are under way to identify, hire, and develop new leaders. And these new leaders are different. Many younger leaders are not interested in the current traditional models of leadership. They want new ways to structure their work. According to Next Shift: Beyond the Nonprofit Leadership Crisis(Kunreuther and Corvington, 2007), these new models include shared leadership and participatory structures that move away from the traditional hierarchical structures that were so popular in the 1970s and 1980s. These new structures are more creative and flexible and are not slowed down by cumbersome, top-down decision making. They are also supported by current leadership academics Peter Senge and Joseph Raelin, who promote movement away from “solo or heroic” leadership (Senge, 1999) to “leaderful” organizations, where leadership is spread throughout an organization (Raelin, 2003).
This younger generation also has a different perspective on work. They want a more even balance between work and life, immediate and ongoing feedback, personal connection, and professional development opportunities. Research from the Interchange Group (an organization that works closely with younger employees) indicates that Millennials (born approximately between 1981 and 2002) are not only familiar with being coached (by parents, teachers, counselors, and peers), they also prefer being coached over being told what to do (Deloitte & Touche, 2006). They want timely and frequent feedback. According to the Interchange Group (2006), “[W]e must provide ongoing mentoring and coaching opportunities to offer guidance and reinforce organizational culture” (p. 1).
Gen Y employees [also known as Millennials] welcome coaching. In fact, they expect it. They want consistent feedback—tons and tons of it.
—BlessingWhite, 2008, p. 24
Most nonprofits will never be able to compete with a for-profit in salary offered. In the absence of high salaries in the nonprofit sector, newer employees want meaningful work and self-development opportunities. In their book on staff retention, LoveEm or LoseEm: Getting Good People to Stay, authors Beverly Kaye and Sharon Jordan-Evans (2008, p. 12) note that providing challenging assignments and opportunities for learning and development were ranked as more important to staff retention than finances. And what’s becoming clearer is that those who are coming to work with organizations now want to share leadership. Top down structures may not work for them.

The Solo or Heroic Model of Leadership Is Outdated

The term “leader” is typically used as a synonym for top manager. . . . [I]f leadership is defined as top management, then it has no real definition at all.
—Peter Senge, 1999, p. 2
Traditional leadership has focused primarily on one person who has a group of followers. This person is highly visible in the organization, sets the overall vision, and influences others. It is typically the executive director. Sometimes, it can be a member of the management team or even a board member. In fact, most research on nonprofit leadership has really meant nonprofit executives.This is not surprising, considering that up until the 1990s, most leadership theories focused on individual attributes and organizational charts (Hubbard, 2005). Add to this one of the more distinctive features of nonprofit culture—the tendency for nonprofit workers to put mission above all else—and you have what we call the heroic model of leadership. You may recognize the hero-leader, who looks like this:
A hero-leader is so passionate about the work that she falls into the trap of trying to do it all herself. Or she focuses primarily on the pressing issues of fundraising or payroll (Shepard, 2008). Or she feels that, as the leader, she has to have all the answers and make all the decisions. She does not delegate (or she struggles with delegation) and often ends up doing the work herself because she imagines it would get done faster, smarter, or better. She is always stressed. She can’t say no and never has much of a life outside work. She fails to focus on developing staff. As a result, her staff starts to forfeit responsibility and looks to her, the leader, for all the decisions. Staff members don’t feel invested in, challenged, or really even supported. Now the hero-leader holds so much responsibility that she starts to burn out. She begins to wonder how long she can keep this up.
Of course, this is merely one leadership archetype. Others include the charismatic leader, who has so much personality and influence that the organization can’t survive without her. Another is the leader who suffers from “founder’s syndrome” and can’t seem to let go of the strategies he used to grow the organization (or the organization itself). As we mentioned in the Preface, much has been written on these archetypes. And we’ve seen firsthand how these types of leaders tend to burn out and result in turnover.
If you can identify with any parts of the scenario just described, you’ re not alone. And it’s OK because you’ve done it for good reason, and we’ re guessing it’s probably worked for you. However, as Peter Senge points out, a pattern is emerging in organizations. “Faced with practical needs for significant change, we opt for the hero-leader rather than eliciting and developing leadership capacity throughout the organization” (Hesselbein, Goldsmith, Somerville, and Drucker, 1999, p. 76).

Traditional Management Doesn’t Cut It Either

Traditional managers often think of themselves as working managers (BlessingWhite, 2008, p. 2). In other words, they’ re responsible for delivering programs and meeting the needs of the clients they serve, in addition to managing people. In this way, the program can often take priority over the duties of managing staff. In our workshop series Management 101, we ask participants to share what called them to their work in the nonprofit sector. People often share a passion for the organizational mission, an interest in a particular field such as the arts, health services, youth, or education, or a desire to work in community organizing. Rarely do people share that they came into the nonprofit sector because of a desire to manage others. Management Assistance Group, a nonprofit consultancy serving social purpose organizations, echoes this in its article, “Advancing Your Cause Through the People You Manage,” stating that “very few people go to work aspiring to be a manager . . . yet they know that mastering the skill of getting the work done through others is crucial to expanding the impact and reach of organizations” (Gross, Mohamed, Katcher, and Master, 2007, p. 1).
Like it or not, we are in an environment of rapid change. Our organizations and the people in them need to be agile and responsive to ever-changing conditions. This requires a new way of engaging, developing, and managing others. This is where coaching comes in.

COACHING: A NEW APPROACH TO DEVELOPING NONPROFIT LEADERSHIP

The mark of effective leadership is not an individual who “does it all”; rather, it’s the full leadership team that fuels high performance over the long haul.
—Sylvia Yee, Evelyn and Walter Haas, Jr. Fund
As the nonprofit sector has matured, the prevailing attitudes about management and leadership have evolved. A lone manager at the top doesn’t create a stable and sustainable organization. New theories continue to emerge, including an emphasis on shared or collective leadership, which we mentioned earlier. These theories, cited by Grantmakers for Effective Organizations, are described as being “based on the premise that leadership is the product of groups rather than individuals. In other words, leadership can come from many places in an organization or a community” (Enright, 2006, p. 20). Organizational health depends on strong leadership in all positions, which brings us to a new way of looking at the definition of leadership itself.
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We define leadership as a process of moving forward an organizational or community agenda, rather than a position of authority.
In other words, leadership is action, not a title. As Jim Collins shares in Good to Great and the Social Sectors(2005), the nonprofit sector has complex governance and diffuse power structures that require a different kind of leadership that focuses on the cause, the movement, the mission, the work—not on themselves. This is the kind of leadership we’ re talking about. Within organizations, there are many individuals who exhibit leadership from where they sit each and every day. They do it by engaging others and posing challenging questions, rather than providing all the answers. Ronald Heifetz, director of the Leadership Education Project at Harvard University’s John F. Kennedy School of Government, asks us to “[i]magine the differences in behavior between leaders who operate with the idea that ‘leadership means influencing the organization to follow the leader’s vision’ and those who operate with the idea that ‘leadership means influencing the organization to face its problems and to live into its opportunities.’ That second idea—mobilizing people to tackle tough challenges—is what defines the new job of the leader” (Taylor, 2007). Mobilizing others to tackle tough challenges, rallying people toward a better future, encouraging contribution or involvement—these are all essential elements of moving an agenda forward. We offer these as definitions of leadership, while recognizing that some may not agree with us. Leadership can be interpreted differently, depending on your own cultural lens. For the purposes of this book, however, we will operate from this definition.
Leadership can be practiced by anyone in any kind of movement, community, organization, or institution. . . . Leadership has little to do with formal authority or where one is in the chain of command, and a great deal to do with forming and sustaining relationships that lead to results in the common interest. Furthermore, leaders are not necessarily the most prominent or vocal members of a group; they are often quite deferential, leaving space for others to voice their concerns and contribute their ideas.
—Stephen Preskill and Stephen Brookfield, 2009, p. 4
Rather than the traditional top-down process of telling people what to do and providing answers, the goal becomes to engage others and support them to tackle challenges and goals. To do this, we need to focus on a new way of developing leadership. We think this new way includes coaching.
We’ re convinced the best way to serve the mission is to encourage and develop existing staff. How do we encourage those we supervise? How do we aspire to professional lives that are purposeful, sustainable, effective—and dare we say it—fun? We may not be able to afford big salaries. But we can be more effective, avoid burnout, and attract and retain staff through something we all need. That something is a chance to grow through ongoing professional development, which, as it turns out, is just what this book you are holding is all about.

WHOM THIS BOOK IS FOR

Coaching Skills for Managers and Leaders is primarily for those who manage others in any nonprofit setting. For the purposes of this book, we use the term manager or leader to describe anyone who supports, guides, influences, has authority over, works alongside, or organizes one or many people. You don’t need to hold positional or traditional authority to find the coaching skills and framework we present rich in possibilities. Accordingly, we use the words manager and leader interchangeably.
Coaching is a leadership skill—a skill that applies to the part of all individuals’ work where it intersects with the people who report to them or count on them for guidance, or both. We do know that both leaders and managers can use the coaching approach to improve how they develop people.
This book will benefit those in every size organization and every field. In addition to benefitting managers and leaders, it is written for use by funders, consultants, and coaches working with nonprofit organizations, and for teachers and students of nonprofit management.
You will learn about a coaching model and about the skills to use within the context of your managerial job working with nonprofit staff. The skills are simple. You use them in your daily conversations. The question, though, is what impact could you have if you mastered them? The primary objective of this book is to provide you with useful ways to master key coaching skills and practices that will improve your ability to better lead, manage, develop, and support others. It will teach you how to add the coaching approach to almost any conversation you have at work. Feel free to also use this approach outside work, too.
We’ve seen countless times how learning the coaching approach expands one’s development in communication and leadership skills. But coaching is one tool in the vast toolkit of leadership. It’s not the only skill or tool you need. As you practice the concepts in this book, you will likely become more confident in your role. Your coaching will encourage others to feel more empowered and to become more accountable and responsible. Using the coaching approach will also support you in growing staff and leveraging their strengths. This book offers ways to become more practical, to know when to give direction or when to support, and when to coach and when not to coach. Knowing how to coach will also make way for more successful delegation. The book provides ways to be better prepared to give feedback and hold performance management conversations. This is not a guide on how to deal with difficult staff, though this book can support you in dealing with difficult situations.
Although it is a resource to provide you with the basic skills of coaching, this book does not attempt to make you a coach on par with those who are certified by programs to be professional coaches. It does, however, give you the level of coaching skills you need to succeed on the job. See Chapter Seven for more information on going further with coaching. The coaching tools in this book have repeatedly demonstrated their worth in thousands of situations. We’ re confident that if you learn and practice these skills, they’ll make your experience easier and more successful. Whether you’ re supervising line staff or sitting on the board of a nonprofit organization, this book is a pragmatic guide to more effective interpersonal interactions.

HOW TO USE THIS BOOK

This book is organized into seven chapters. We start with a discussion about what coaching can bring to nonprofit leaders and managers. We then define what it takes to become more coachlike and provide you with the skills and framework for a successful coaching conversation, including examples of when and how to coach in specific situations and when not to coach. We end with a discussion on how to create a coaching culture in your organization.
Chapter One discusses what coaching is and what a coaching manager does differently. We also share how to use the coaching approach to manage others and how it differs from other ways of developing staff. We’ll even provide an example of coaching, to give you a better sense of what it looks like in action. The final part of this chapter provides examples of opportunities to coach and the specific coaching approach we present in this book.
Chapter Two lays out in-depth instruction for understanding and mastering the four foundational coaching skills. There are plenty of guiding questions to help you coach yourself and exercises to use back on the job. The chapter also offers a sample dialogue using all the skills together.
Chapter Three gives you a conversational framework for your coaching approach. Here we offer you a pathway for productive conversations and tools to support both you and the person you are coaching.
Chapter Four recognizes the importance of knowing how to be your best as a coach beyond the use of the skills and framework. We address the mind-set of a coaching manager and the need to be aware of your coaching lens. You’ll gain insight into what the person receiving coaching will need from you to make the best of the coaching experience.
Chapter Five discusses when to coach and when to use other management practices.
Chapter Six offers real-world scenarios that further prepare you to apply your new skills and knowledge in real life. These nonprofit workplace scenarios give you advice and tips on how to handle specific situations and sample coaching dialogues.
Chapter Seven addresses what you can do to introduce and develop a culture of coaching in your organization. It also gives you ideas about how to expand your own coaching approach and how to leverage professional coaching.
Throughout this book, we share what we’ve discovered and what we’ve learned as coaches in the nonprofit sector. There are questions you can use to coach yourself and to coach others, indicated in the book by the question mark icon. We also offer insights and the experience of managers and leaders who are using the coaching approach in their work today. This book offers you practical coaching skills to complement other management and leadership approaches, providing examples and case studies that can be translated into real-time application. (See Chapter Six for scenarios and advice for real-world coaching.)
Although this book is one tool to help you become a coaching manager, it may not be the only tool you need. People learn differently. Some people are quite visual and respond well to reading information in order to learn. However, some learn best by listening or by experiencing something firsthand. We suggest you consider how you learn best. Resource B provides a good supply of questions for you to use in specific situations; the other resources provide additional exercises and resources to guide your coaching or enhance your skills. Some of these tools can also be used in the team environment. Take what works and leave what doesn’t. And go at your own pace.
Are you ready to get started? Let’s go.

chapter ONE
What Coaching Can Bring to Your Role
 
 
 
 
We define coaching as a process that supports individuals to make more conscious decisions and to take new action. It helps them to identify and build on their strengths and internal resources and moves them forward from where they are to where they want or need to be. Coaching supports reflection, awareness, communication, and accountability.
 
We receive countless requests from nonprofit managers seeking support in managing staff. The requests usually look something like this:
• This person is doing a good job, but how can I get her to step into a larger position of leadership?
• My staff members are asking for more feedback on their work. Some of them say they don’t know where they stand. What can I do about this?
• How can I delegate better when I don’t have time and it’s easier to do it myself?
• I need to have a difficult conversation with someone I manage. What do I do?
• Our organization is flat and doesn’t have a lot of career paths available. What is the best way to provide professional development for staff so I can keep them engaged?
• I’ m feeling that I need to do everything for this person. How can I help her to stop asking me what to do and take on more accountability so I can get to my own work?
We hear many more questions, but these are some of the highlights. And these are merely the presenting issues. When we dig deeper, we find that nonprofit managers are really struggling with some fundamental skills. They are spending a great deal of their time telling staff what to do so they can get back to their own work (the traditional working manager role), but they are spending very little time helping their staff to learn and grow on the job. As a result, they become frustrated because their staff aren’t doing anything different.
A central task of leadership is learning to support the growth of others.
—Stephen Preskill and Stephen Brookfield, 2009, p. 61
What we believe has been missing from the equation is coaching. Although working with an external, one-on-one coach has its benefits (see Chapter Seven for more information on this type of coaching), we’ve seen how bringing coaching skills into an organization can have a much greater impact on staff commitment and the achievement of organizational goals.
According to a study by BlessingWhite, the relationship between a manager and staff is the most critical and reliable option for building strong organizations. “To achieve results and to keep employees engaged, coaching is a practice that requires relatively little investment, is infinitely adaptable, and is inherently personalized” (BlessingWhite, 2008, p. 3). Ongoing coaching is technically a part of any manager’s role, but it has yet to be embraced as much as it could be in the sector due to lack of exposure and training.