Table of Contents
Praise
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
About EQ-i 2.0
Preface
Acknowledgments
Introduction
Part I: The EQ Explosion
Chapter 1: Exploring Emotional Intelligence
Redefining Intelligence and Achievement
What Are the Differences between IQ and EQ?
A Brief History of Emotional Intelligence
What About Cognitive Intelligence?
Comparing IQ and EQ
What Are the Building Blocks of EQ?
This Book and the EQ-i 2.0
Can I Really Enhance My EQ?
Does It Matter Whether You're Emotionally Smart or Dumb?
The Importance of Emotional Intelligence in the Business World
Chapter 2: The Airport and the ABCDEs
Flight Canceled
The ABCDEs
Changing Hot Feelings to Cool Feelings
The Major Musts and the Absolute Shoulds
Tune in to What Your Body Is Telling You
A Happy Ending
Part II: The Self-Perception Realm
Chapter 3: Emotional Self-Awareness
Know Thyself
The Boss as Despot
Addressing the “Boss as Despot”
Self-Awareness Gone Missing in Action
Become Aware of Others' Reactions to Your Behavior
Know Your “Ouch Points”
Exercises
Self-Assessment
Self-Assignments
Chapter 4: Self-Regard
Self-Regard Is Not Self-Esteem
Like Yourself, Warts and All
Don't Bite Off More Than You Can Chew
Exercises
Self-Assessment
Self-Assignments
Chapter 5: Self-Actualization
Set Action-Oriented Goals
Do What You Love
Let Your Internal Light Shine
Live Life to the Fullest
Strike a Balance
Exercises
Self-Assessment
Self-Assignments
Part III: The Self-Expression Realm
Chapter 6: Emotional Expression
How Self-Awareness Plays Out in the Public Eye
Expression of Authentic and Congruent Emotions
Expression of Non-Congruent Emotions
Exercises
Chapter 7: Independence
The Buck Stops with You
Be Decisive
Pursue New Interests
Making Your Work Decisions Work
Exercises
Self-Assessment
Self-Assignments
Chapter 8: Assertiveness
What Is Meant by Assertiveness?
Assertiveness Is Not Aggression
Using Assertiveness at Work
Overcoming Passiveness and Passive-Aggressive Behavior
Indirect Assertiveness
The Benefits of Assertiveness
Exercises
Self-Assessment
Self-Assignments
Part IV: The Interpersonal Realm
Chapter 9: Interpersonal Relationships
Key Skills for Better Relationships
Making and Keeping Friends
Exercises
Self-Assessment
Self-Assignments
Chapter 10: Empathy
What Empathy Is Not
Put Emotions on Hold
Ask Excavating Questions
Focus on the Other's Subjective Perspective
Exercises
Self-Assessment
Self-Assignments
Chapter 11: Social Responsibility
The Queen of Hearts
Corporate Social Responsibility
Helping Others Helps Yourself
Seinfeld and the Good Samaritan
Exercises
Self-Assessment
Self-Assignments
Part V: The Decision-Making Realm
Chapter 12: Reality Testing
Be Objective
Don't Fear the Worst…
…But Take off Those Rose-Colored Glasses
Exercises
Self-Assessment
Self-Assignments
Chapter 13: Problem Solving
Six Steps for Solving Problems
Externalize, Visualize, and Simplify
Exercises
Self-Assessment
Self-Assignments
Chapter 14: Impulse Control
Look Before You Leap
The Impulse Gate
The Marshmallow Test
Exercises
Self-Assessment
Self-Assignments
Part VI: The Stress-Management Realm
Chapter 15: Flexibility
Good Leaders Don't Go Down with the Ship Anymore
Today's Leaders
Flexibility Can Be Learned
Be Open to Change
Exercises
Self-Assessment
Self-Assignments
Chapter 16: Stress Tolerance
The Evolution of Stress
The Indicators of Stress
Keep Your Perspective
Don't Be Your Own Worst Enemy
Exercises
Self-Assessment
Self-Assignments
Chapter 17: Optimism
Turn the Three Ps Around
Flexible Optimism versus Blind Optimism
Give Yourself a Break
Exercises
Self-Assessment
Self-Assignments
Part VII: General Well-Being
Chapter 18: Happiness
Nature or Nurture?
Wealth Does Not (Necessarily) Equal Happiness
Happiness Comes from the Inside Out
Happiness Is Attainable Goals
The Wonders of Flow
Exercises
Self-Assessment
Self-Assignments
Part VIII: Putting It All Together
Chapter 19: The Star Performers
EQ and Top Guns
EQ and the Oval Office
EQ in the Political Realm
“He Shoots, He Scores!”
EQ and the Skier
EQ in the Financial Sector
EQ in Sales
EQ and the Collection Agency
The Role of EQ in Leadership
EQ and Journalists
EQ Goes To Court
EQ in the Classroom
EQ and The Power To Heal
EQ and the Job-Challenged
EQ and Marital Bliss
Chapter 20: More Star Performers
EQ and Law Enforcement
EQ in the Legal Community
EQ and Your Dentist and Doctor
EQ and the Principal's Office
EQ and Sales Talent
EQ and Leadership
EQ and the CEO
EQ and Lessons from Reality TV
EQ and the Graduate
EQ in the Movies
EQ and Aboriginal Culture
Chapter 21: The EQ Research Continues
EI Studies in Business
EI and a Midlife Career Crisis
EI and Business Advice
EI and Early Intervention
EI and Education
EI and Lifelong Learning
EI and Athleticism
EI and Your Health
Chapter 22: Emotional Intelligence as Ability
The Case of Sabrina and Workplace Inclusion
The Case of Harry and Emotional Management
Appendix A: The EQ-i 2.0
Appendix B: EQ and Work Success
Appendix C: The Emotional Intelligence Skills Assessment (EISA)
Why was the EISA developed?
What is the EISA designed to measure?
Endnotes
Introduction
Chapter 1: Exploring Emotional Intelligence
Part II: The Self-Perception Realm
Chapter 3: Emotional Self-Awareness
Chapter 4: Self-Regard
Chapter 5: Self-Actualization
Chapter 6: Emotional Expression
Chapter 7: Independence
Chapter 8: Assertiveness
Part IV: The Interpersonal Realm
Chapter 9: Interpersonal Relationships
Chapter 10: Empathy
Chapter 11: Social Responsibility
Part V: The Decision-Making Realm
Chapter 12: Reality Testing
Chapter 13: Problem Solving
Chapter 14: Impulse Control
Part VI: The Stress-Management Realm
Chapter 15: Flexibility
Chapter 16: Stress Tolerance
Chapter 17: Optimism
Part VII: General Well-Being
Chapter 18: Happiness
Chapter 19: The Star Performers
Chapter 20: More Star Performers
Chapter 21: The EQ Research Continues
Chapter 22: Emotional Intelligence as Ability
Appendix A: The EQ-i 2.0
Index
Praise
“At last! A breakthrough book that proves emotional intelligence drives success in the business-world and in family life. The EQ Edge delivers a practical, research based, real-world roadmap on how you can bolster the odds on achieving success at work, at play, and in your personal relationships.”
—Jack Canfield, co-creator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul® series and co-co-author of The Success Principles™: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be
“Most professionals agree on the critical importance of EI, but often resolve into abstract discussions and debate as to what it is, how it is best measured, etc. The EQ Edge cuts through the abstractions, not only clarifying emotional intelligence, but it goes much further in providing the reader with a practical user's guide. After reading this book, not only will you be more EI knowledgeable, but you will know how to manage your emotional intelligence for the better, in work and virtually every other aspect of life.”
—Dr. Dan Baker, Clinical Psychologist, Canyon Ranch, and author of What Happy People Know
“The EQ Edge provides great insight into the theoretical and economic value of emotional intelligence, as well as the importance it plays in effective leadership. The book demonstrates the importance of performance predictors in succession planning by providing practical examples and comprehensive data. It is relevant and useful for current and future law-enforcement leaders who want to build trust by sharing their vision and expressing their passion.
The EQ Edge has been instrumental in my understanding of emotional intelligence and has had a great impact in the United States and international law-enforcement communities.”
—Special Agent Tim Turner, FBI Academy
“The EQ Edge dives thoroughly into the concepts of Emotional Intelligence while providing a number of practical and useful strategies that can be incorporated into your daily experiences to improve and enhance your performance, as well as others around you.”
—Gena DeChant, M.A. (I/O Psychology), SPHR, Vice President and Human Resource Professional, Wachovia Corporation
“The EQ Edge is one of the few books that not only clearly defines what emotional intelligence is and how it differs from IQ, but also tells readers what practical steps they can take to enhance their emotional intelligence quotient. It applies the principles and practices of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy and includes many useful techniques that can help readers lead happier and more effective lives.”
—Dr. Albert Ellis, President of the Albert Ellis Institute for Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy
“The EQ Edge … explains and explores emotional intelligence, taking readers through 15 crucial elements—among them self-regard, flexibility, empathy, and impulse control—with suggestions of how to improve.”
—The Globe and Mail
“This book takes readers through a systematic journey of the 15 dimensions of the Bar-On EQ model. The book provokes self-reflection and yet is easy and fun to read because of the many anecdotes used to bring the different facets of EQ to life.”
—Chua Ping Tzeun, Psychologist, Singapore Armed Forces
“It's reassuring to hear that street smarts may take you further than school smarts and that, unlike the dreaded IQ, they can be altered.”
—The Toronto Star
“Although a pilot's technical skills, education, training and experience are all-important in meeting the challenges of a complex and demanding environment, it is the individual's emotional intelligence that ultimately determines success or failure in this rapidly changing industry. Incorporating the EQ-i into Air Canada's pilot selection process has enabled our company to identify candidates who not only possess advanced technical skills, but also the necessary emotional and social competencies predictive of long-term success as an Air Canada pilot.”
—Captain David Legge, Vice President, Flight Operations, Air Canada
“I have found the book The EQ Edge to be an invaluable aid to more than 150 clients who have used EQ-i as a leadership development tool. These clients have been in Eversheds, The Office of the Deputy Prime Minister, E&Y, DWP, The Pension Service, Scottish Power, ICI, Hewlett Packard, BP, The Department of Health, Centrica, Astra Zeneca, Northern Foods, McDonald's, Pearl, PwC, and IBM.”
—Jonathan Perks, MBE, MD Leadership Services, Penna plc
“The EQ Edge is a must-read for anyone constructing an intervention or training program to enhance personal understanding and skills associated with emotional intelligence. Each chapter tunnels its way into the most critical aspects of what emotional intelligence actually means, and the book adroitly synthesizes the research and the theory in such a way as to make the application of emotional intelligence available to clinicians and trainers alike. Developing an applied base program in emotional intelligence without utilizing this book is comparable to baking the cake and leaving off the icing.”
—Patrick Kilcarr, Ph.D., Director, Center for Personal Development, School of Nursing and Health Studies, Georgetown University, Washington DC
“I have found The EQ Edge to be very helpful in providing feedback to students who take EQ-i assessment here at the University of Kansas Public Management Center. Having the book organized around the 15 EQ-i subscales allows busy students to focus on areas of improvement.”
—Marvin Stottlemire, Ph.D., JD, Assistant Director, University of Kansas Management Center
Copyright © 2011, 2006, 2000, Multi-Health Systems Inc.
All rights reserved. No part of this work covered by the copyright herein may be reproduced or used in any form or by any means—graphic, electronic or mechanical without the prior written permission of the publisher. Any request for photocopying, recording, taping or information storage and retrieval systems of any part of this book shall be directed in writing to The Canadian Copyright Licensing Agency (Access Copyright). For an Access Copyright license, visit www.accesscopyright.ca or call toll free 1-800-893-5777.
Care has been taken to trace ownership of copyright material contained in this book. The publisher will gladly receive any information that will enable them to rectify any reference or credit line in subsequent editions.
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold on the understanding that the Publisher is not engaged in rendering professional services. If professional advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional should be sought.
Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication Data
Stein, Steven J., 1950–
The EQ edge : emotional intelligence and your success / Steven J. Stein, Howard E. Book.—3rd ed.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
1. Emotional intelligence. 2. Success—Psychological aspects.
I. Book, Howard E. II. Title.
BF576.S733 2011 152.4 C2011-901439-4
978-0-470-68161-9 (print), 978-0-470-95266-5 (ePDF), 978-0-470-95287-0 (eMobi), 978-0-470-95264-1 (ePub)
To our families for their support during the long gestation of this book: Rodeen, Alana, and Lauren Linda, Josh, and Adam
About EQ-i 2.0
As our knowledge of emotional intelligence continues to evolve, so does this book on emotional and social intelligence. Just over ten years have passed since we wrote the original EQ Edge. The previous revised editions were driven by the huge increase in knowledge, both scientific and experiential, that arose on this new topic. The present revision, while also influenced by new data, is primarily driven by the first major revision of the most widely used test of emotional intelligence in the world, the Emotional Quotient Inventory (EQ-iTM), now referred to as the Emotional Quotient Inventory 2.0 or EQ-i 2.0TM.
Most of the scientific knowledge about emotional and social intelligence that exists today is a result of research studies that rely on tests or measurement. If it were not for tests that measure these attributes, we would only have conjecture and hypotheses about what emotional intelligence is, its significance in our world, and how it can be improved.
Most of the research in the field has been based on either the EQ-i, a self-report measure, or the MSCEIT (Mayer, Salovey, and Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test), an abilities-based measure. These measures are developed through widely accepted standards in psychology that include theory development; refinement of constructs; development of items to measure those constructs; testing out those items with samples of people; refinement of items, then testing thousands of people representative of the population at large; normalization of the data; and continued research on its reliability and validity.
The current revision of the EQ-i 2.0 is a process that took several years to complete and was entirely carried out by the talented staff at MHS (Multi-Health Systems), one of the world's leading assessment companies. Hundreds of thousands of hours were invested in this process by the highly skilled professionals. Why was this necessary? Tests can become dated over time. People change as cultures are changed. Things we reacted to one way many years ago may no longer get the same reaction today. Thus, of necessity, items had to be changed and norms adjusted to respectively determine and verify people's reactions in the contemporary world.
Among this team at MHS we'd like to thank Dr. Derek Mann, Katie Ziemer, Wendy Gordon, Scott Millar, Rick Walrond, Sara Rzepa, Dr. Gill Sitarenios, Deena Logan, Dr. Kevin Williams, Dr. Craig Nathanson, Diana Durek, Daniela Kwiatkowksi, Charlene Colella, Jaroslaw Kunicyn, Heather Coe, Ronald Tumbas, Kelley Marko, Dr. Dana Ackley, Marcia Hughes, Brett Richards, Hile Rutledge, John Elliot, Hazel Wheldon, Thomas Gale, and James Buchanan.
The EQ Edge has been read and put into practice by hundreds of thousands of people in all walks of life. It has also become an integral part of the training of professionals in how to use the EQ-i. In this edition of The EQ Edge, our goal is to provide you with helpful information on emotional and social intelligence based on the most up-to-date developments in the field. This edition has been reorganized to fit the new format of the EQ-i 2.0. Based on the input of hundreds of professionals experienced with the original EQ-i, along with our accumulated knowledge of the published research in the field, and unpublished studies that we have been privy to, we will provide you with the most useful information that you can implement in your work, at home, and in your social relations.
Preface
It's hard to believe that 10 years have passed since we first released The EQ Edge. The world has changed in dramatic ways since then. We've experienced 9/11, the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, the 2004 tsunami, earthquakes, 7/7, severe hurricanes in Louisiana and Florida, massacres in Sudan, and a number of other crises.
We were very excited when asked to update our book by the people at Wiley. The EQ Edge has continued to sell very well over the years and we receive comments from readers all over the world. We are very pleased that so many people have contacted us with stories of how parts of our book have touched their lives. In some cases people have made dramatic life changes for the better as a result of the examples and exercises provided.
In this update, our goal was to make a few changes based on some comments we've received about what people really liked best about the book. We also wanted to update you on some of the new developments in emotional intelligence since the book was originally written. We've added information on how emotional intelligence has helped play a role in the lives of families of survivors of the 9/11 tragedy; its use in training top police officers from around the world at the FBI Academy; how emotional intelligence played a small part in the reality TV shows Survivor, The Apprentice, The Amazing Race, Big Brother, and From the Ground Up; and how the top-rated lawyers in Canada measure up, among other stories.
We want to thank Don Loney for his excitement about The EQ Edge and for championing the book at Wiley.
Acknowledgments
We wish to thank the hundreds of thousands of people who have taken the Emotional Quotient Inventory (EQ-i and EQ-i 2.0) to date. In the process of validating and conducting research with this instrument we have learned a great deal about emotional intelligence and the role it plays in the lives of so many people, including those who are fulfilled, rich (in life and/or material wealth), famous, successful, less fortunate, unfulfilled, and downtrodden. We hope that you have learned more about yourselves and the areas on which you can focus to greatly enhance your lives.
Many people played key roles in allowing us access to data that would ordinarily have been very difficult to obtain. We want to thank Cmdr. Dean Bailey, former SMO (Senior Medical Officer) of one of the world's most technologically sophisticated aircraft carriers, the USS George Washington, for all his assistance in our testing of navy personnel while the ship was on duty in the and EQ-i 2.0 Mediterranean Sea and the Atlantic Ocean. We also thank (former) Lt.-Cmdr. Bill Glasser and (former) Maj. Charley Magruder for making these trips possible. Both provided great camaraderie, along with a good deal of education about the U.S. military.
Many thanks to Larry Tanenbaum, co-owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey team, as well as to (former) Maple Leafs president Ken Dryden, (former) assistant general manager Anders Hedberg, and (former) associate general manager Mike Smith. We have learned a great deal about professional sports, and hockey in particular, through our testing. We were pleasantly surprised at how open these hockey professionals were to the importance of emotional intelligence in the development of their young hockey players.
We also want to thank the “star performers” who gave us permission to use their test scores and their stories. They have added an important dimension to the understanding of emotional intelligence by showing how well-developed emotional skills can lead to success in real life. Only those people whose first and last names are both given in the text are real. Other examples are composites drawn from our experience with clients, relatives, friends, acquaintances, and public figures.
Others we would like to thank include Dr. Gill Sitarenios (director of research, MHS); Jennifer Schipper (Environics) for her lessons on public relations; Lt.-Col. Rich Handley (formerly of the U.S. Air Force); Irene Taylor (Irene Taylor and Associates); the late Dr. Ruth Borchiver (Jewish Vocational Services of Greater Toronto); Hy M. Eiley; Allan Gould; Nomi Morris; Brian Twohey (formerly at Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce, Global Private Banking and Trust); Shawna Sheldon (former senior editor at MHS); Jennifer Braunton (former graphic designer at MHS); and all the people at MHS who helped out with the research.
Special thanks to our exceptional assistants, Lynn Walker, Francesca Dipasquale, and Donna Penticost, for service above and beyond the call of duty, and to our first editors at Stoddart Publishing, Donald Bastian and Sue Sumeraj.
We also thank Multi-Health Systems for permission to use the material from the EQ-i Technical Manual, the EQ-i 2.0 Technical Manual, and the MSCEIT Technical Manual, and other graphs and research findings. Additionally we thank Dr. Reuven Bar-On for creating the EQ-i, and Drs. Peter Salovey, Jack Mayer, and David Caruso for creating the MSCEIT.
We are pleased to be donating a portion of the income earned on this book to Doctors Without Borders.
Introduction
The appearance in 1995 of Daniel Goleman's Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More than IQ1 generated a flood of interest in the role that emotional intelligence plays in our lives. Goleman elegantly surveyed years of research into psychological functioning and interpersonal skills, presenting his case to general readers in a coherent and accessible way. The response was seismic. At long last, the so-called soft skills which do so much to determine our success were rescued from the fringe and seriously considered by mainstream educators, business people, and the media.
Meanwhile, to satisfy this burgeoning demand, numerous other books have entered the marketplace. Many, however, lack solid research to substantiate their claims or methods and are dedicated primarily to putting forward their authors' self-serving points of view. These books have threatened to erode confidence in the core concept of emotional intelligence with their expansive promises and one-sided arguments.
But emotional intelligence is not a fad or a trend. Nor is it quite as new as many people believe. It seems novel only because it was shuffled aside, sent into hibernation by the 20th century's fixation on scientific data and rationalism at any cost. Only now are the social sciences catching up and coming to grips with those aspects of personality, emotion, cognition, and behavior which were previously judged incapable of being identified, measured, and fully understood. Now, they're increasingly recognized as crucial to effective functioning, both in the workplace and in our personal lives. Good relationships and coping strategies are key to our success in every area of human activity, from the initial bonding between parent and child to the ability of a manager to bring out the best in his or her employees.
In fact, one of a number of emotional intelligence breakthroughs took place in the 1980s, when the American-born Israeli psychologist Dr. Reuven Bar-On began his work in the field. He was perplexed by a number of basic questions. Why, he wondered, do some people possess greater emotional well-being? Why are some better able to achieve success in life? And—most important—why do some people who are blessed with superior intellectual abilities seem to fail in life, while others with more modest gifts succeed? By 1985, he thought he'd found a partial answer in what he called a person's Emotional Quotient (EQ), an obvious parallel to the long-standing measures of cognitive or rational abilities that we know as IQ, or Intelligence Quotient.
This was an interesting hypothesis, but it remained untested—until Bar-On developed an instrument which became known as the EQ-i, which stands for Emotional Quotient Inventory. He believed emotional intelligence was made up of a series of overlapping but distinctly different skills and attitudes which could be grouped under five general theme areas or “realms,” then further subdivided into 15 components or “scales.” This was essentially what came to be referred to as the Bar-On model of emotional intelligence, upon which the EQ-i was developed. Even when the EQ-i was in its infancy, Bar-On had a hunch that the skills it was designed to measure would eventually prove to be even more important than traditional cognitive skills when it came to successfully coping with life's demands.
While Bar-On was working toward the formulation of the EQ-i, we had been busy in our respective fields. Oddly enough, since we hadn't at that point met, both of us were gradually coming around to the same way of thinking. Steven had founded Multi-Health Systems (MHS), which publishes a wide selection of psychological tests and other materials. These tests performed (and continue to perform) an extremely valuable role. But, almost by definition, the majority of them dealt, one way or another, with the negative—the downside of human experience—in that they identified and assessed all sorts of difficulties, deficiencies, and problems.
Meanwhile, a movement known as positive psychology was gaining broad acceptance. Many practitioners began to suggest that in order to treat (for example) depression, a good first step would be to look for a skill or competency and build from there. An area in which someone was functioning well could serve as the basis for meaningful change, and point the way to an eventual cure.
At about this time, Steven was introduced to Reuven Bar-On, who was then attempting to interest North American publishers in his as-yet-unfinalized EQ-i. Steven was drawn to the concept at once, because Bar-On was looking at a number of clearly delineated skills that could with practice be improved—the flip side of what Steven was working on. The EQ-i offered promise and hope. If Bar-On was correct, almost everyone could benefit. MHS therefore began to collect data which would both fine-tune Bar-On's initial findings and make them more relevant to North American circumstances.
While these activities were under way, Howard had also been influenced by the positive psychology movement's emphasis on strengths that can be made stronger. (The Menninger Clinic—a renowned psychiatric facility located in Topeka, Kansas, which also operates a separate division that provides coaching to business executives—put this well: “You don't have to be sick to get better.”) In his work as an organizational consultant, he'd been struck by the fact that many of the issues confronting the firms that sought his advice had nothing to do with accounting, strategic planning, or budget sheets. Rather, they were the results of faulty communication, of people's inability to understand how they and others functioned, and of a failure to see matters from someone else's perspective or grasp the impact of their own actions. He hadn't yet heard the term emotional intelligence; he was simply aware of his own observations—until the publication of Daniel Goleman's book helped to crystallize his thinking. Now there was a phrase to capture what he'd been dealing with.
Then, one day at his son's summer camp, Howard found himself listening to a stranger (who fortuitously turned out to be Steven) describe the preliminary research on emotional intelligence, and the existence of a valid scientific instrument that at long last both defined and measured emotional intelligence. All of which explains how the two of us got together, and why we've worked together ever since.
Since the early 1990s MHS, together with a worldwide network of researchers and practitioners, has administered the EQ-i and more recently the EQ-i 2.0 (translated into 45 languages) to well over one million people in 66 countries, building up a voluminous data bank and uncovering incontrovertible links between emotional intelligence and proven success in people's personal and working lives. Some of these remarkable stories, those of our “star performers,” are detailed in Chapter 19. There you'll find instances of how the EQ-i has predicted and assisted in the success of real people in a wide variety of fields, from the military to professional hockey, from bankers to doctors to journalists to collection agents to teachers. Based on our findings, we know beyond doubt that EQ can be accurately determined and effectively improved upon on an individual basis. The purpose of this book is to show you how.
When Reuven Bar-On presented the model of the EQ-i at a meeting of the American Psychological Association in Toronto, Canada, in 1996, we were deluged with media attention. More than 100 North American newspapers reported on his findings, and, during that single week, we did dozens of radio and television interviews. Since then, the pace has quickened.
In 1997—the year MHS formally began to publish, distribute, and process the finalized EQ-i—Reuven Bar-On and Steven Stein were keynote speakers at the 50th anniversary celebration of Toronto's Jewish Vocational Services, a non-profit agency which offers community-based career counseling and psychological programs to the city's Jewish day schools. A smattering of free pamphlets, along with the usual cross-your-fingers-and-pray public service announcements, formed the bulk of the advance promotion, and organizers optimistically set up 350 chairs in a hotel ballroom. Who knew how many people might wander by out of idle curiosity, to hear about something as obscure as emotional intelligence?
The answer is: Quite a few. As it happened, the presentation was delayed for half an hour while hotel staff scrambled to open up a room divider and find more seating. The final tally showed that nearly 1,000 people—a cross-section ranging from mental health professionals to housewives to retirees—flocked to a basically unadvertised event. There are several reasons for this overwhelming response which, by the way, continued for a number of years in different countries around the world.
First, people are excited and relieved to receive confirmation of what they've instinctively known all along—that IQ needn't be taken quite so seriously as before, that other factors are at least as important when it comes to success in life. In fact, one can make the argument that in order for us to take advantage of our cognitive intelligence and flex it to the maximum, we first need good emotional intelligence. Why?
Because regardless of how brainy we may be, if we turn others off with abrasive behavior, are unaware of how we are presenting ourselves, or cave in under minimal stress, no one will stick around long enough to notice our high IQs.
Second, it's encouraging to discover that, thanks to the alternative or supplementary framework provided by the EQ-i, emotional intelligence can be reliably measured, and may eventually take its place alongside cognitive intelligence (which achieved its current status in part because there were tools that quantified it and made it real).
Third, it's heartening to learn that emotional intelligence cuts across the gender gap. Over and over again, we have found that men and women have remarkably similar overall scores on the EQ-i. This held true in a number of diverse countries and cultures worldwide. The only differences arose when it came to the 15 component scales. Women everywhere had higher scores in two of these categories—social responsibility and empathy—while men universally scored higher on stress tolerance. In addition, at least in North America, women came out slightly ahead on the interpersonal relationships scale, while men scored higher in self-regard. Suffice it to say that for every area of emotional intelligence in which women appear to enjoy a natural advantage, men have a counterbalancing strength elsewhere.
Our analysis of the newest datasets, based on more than 4,000 people tested with the EQ-i 2.0 throughout North America, stratified to match census data, once again confirms our earlier findings (with a few small modifications). As before, there were no overall differences in EQ between men and women. However, women scored higher in the interpersonal relationship realm than men. There were some small, but statistically significant, differences in the subscales as well, with males scoring higher in independence, problem solving, and stress tolerance. Women, on the other hand, scored higher in emotional self-awareness, emotional expression, and empathy.
Fourth, it's equally heartening to discover that emotional intelligence transcends race. Particularly in the United States, heated controversy has long surrounded the discrepancies (which arise for a number of complex and, themselves, arguable reasons) that have been found among the average IQ scores for groups of Caucasians, African-Americans, and Asian-Americans. Many readers may remember the furor that arose in 1994 over the publication of The Bell Curve by Richard Herrnstein and Charles Murray,2 who chose to tackle this thorny question head-on. As a result of this furor, the findings and interpretations they reported were investigated by a special task force appointed by the American Psychological Association. And the acrimonious, though largely inconclusive, debate hasn't completely died down in the intervening years.
This is one reason we attempted to compile the world's first data analysis of racial differences (if they existed at all) when it came to the components of emotional intelligence. Our first study was based on approximately 1,000 people located throughout North America who had completed the EQ-i. We compared the results obtained by members of the three races mentioned earlier, as well as those obtained by Hispanic-Americans. The average overall scores varied by less than 5 percent—a difference so small it might have arisen by chance. Nor were there any significant differences among average scores for each of the EQ-i's five realms. In short, there seem to be no emotional advantages or disadvantages whatsoever based on race. Thus members of any ethnic group can confidently take and benefit from the EQ-i, and EQ itself remains a measure that can be applied in good conscience throughout a range of multicultural settings.
These results were replicated in our 2010 study with the new EQ-i 2.0. This time we included a sample almost four times larger (3,888 people) from throughout North America in the testing. The results, as seen in Figure I.2 below, parallel what we found 17 years ago.
The last, and perhaps most important, point is that people are buoyed by the knowledge that—as you shall see in the following chapter—EQ is not permanently fixed. Age, gender, or ethnic backgrounds do not deter you from enhancing your EQ. The skills defined and measured by each of the EQ-i's component scales can be improved no matter how old you are, and the stronger your skills, the greater your chances for success. The stronger your emotional intelligence, the more likely you are to be successful as a worker, a parent, a manager, an adult child to your own parents, a partner to your significant other, or a candidate for a workplace position. It's never too late to make a change for the better. And if you really want to make that change in your life, you can.
Furthermore, the process can be started in childhood, which is why a version of the EQ-i for youths was also developed. Like its adult counterpart, the youth version helps children and adolescents to become more aware of their emotions; to be more positive about themselves; to get along better with others; to be better problem solvers; to better cope with stress; to be less impulsive; and to enjoy life. Research on emotional intelligence has demonstrated that it is a preventative measure against bad behavior. Increasing EQ in youths may help reduce the risk of extreme violence and help prevent some of the atrocities seen in our schools, such as the murders at Columbine High. Developing emotional intelligence at an early age gives individuals an edge well into adulthood.
The EQ Edge, 3rd Edition, includes definitions and works that have been adapted from the new and completely revised EQ-i 2.0 Technical Manual and the MSCEIT Technical Manual, as well as research findings generated by administering the EQ-i, EQ-i 2.0, and MSCEIT to a large and ever-increasing number of people around the world.
